Guarded
by darkangel62636
Summary: 120 years later of building walls up and it takes 1 email, 1 look, and 1 call to make everything fall apart. Guarded in more ways than one, will she finally let her walls down or will her duty be in her way. Summary isn't great but give it a read :)
1. Prologue

**AN:Hello everyone. This story was posted a few years ago and then my life got in the way and I got major writers block and never finished it. I found my notebook unpacking and decided to take down the old story, make a few minor changes and repost it. I think I will post once a week. Maybe more if I am motivated. I hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to read and review**

—

Prologue

Darling,

Are you alright? You sound off.

No resolutions. Well except maybe

no bets or wagers this year. They

always seem to go horribly wrong. We

are in Massachusetts to attend Amherst.

I can't say I am overly thrilled to start

school again. Cheer up darlin'.

J

I closed my laptop and headed to the throne room. I sighed as I took my seat.

"Yes?" he asked. "What do you have?"

"They are in Massachusetts to attend Amherst. They are starting this winter semester."

"I want you to go there with Heidi."

"Who do you want and when?"

"The mindreader and the fortuneteller. Take some time. I feel this will be a difficult task to accomplish"

"What about the empath?" I cringed as I asked, wishing I had kept my mouth shut.

"Hmmm. Yes, possibly him too. Now go pack"

I bid my farewells and went to leave but was stopped before I closed the door.

"And my dear, did you take care of that other thing we discussed?"

"Yes I have." A smile ghosted my lips as I remember the fun I had.

"Good" he replied with a hint of a smile.


	2. Chapter 1

I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. Only own the storyline and the characters I have made up.

**AN: So I also decided to post chapter 1 since the prologue is so short**

* * *

Chapter 1

BPOV

_Snow… I hate snow. I hated it when I was 5, I hated it when I was 18, and I still hate it 120 years later (give or take a year) stuck at the age of 18._

I was sitting on my kitchen counter in my apartment with my back against the fridge watching the fluffy white flakes flutter down and stick to everything. I heaved a heavy sigh thinking about the inevitable, leaving for class. As I sighed I heard an echo sigh of annoyance adding to the toe tapping that I have been ignoring for the last 2 minutes. I addressed the toe taper without looking back over my shoulder at her.

"Yes Heidi?"

"Must you sit on the kitchen counter Isabella? You look ridiculous."

"I find it relaxing my dear friend, you should try it," I replied with a small smile playing at my lips. The kitchen was one of my favorite places when I was human.

"What should I do with my hair?" I continued after a few beats while Heidi lightly hopped onto the counter opposite of me putting her back to the wall to look outside at the snow.

"You know how I like it. Change it back to how it was when you were changed. It was so beautiful. I can play with it again, which I know you enjoyed " Heidi purred

Sighing because she already knew my answer, "You know I stay away from the way I use to look. That was Bella, well the old Bella, the human Bella… the worthless Bella." I whispered the last part.

Hopping down from the counter. "Stop! You were not and are not worthless. I know you stay away from that look but you were gorgeous… not that you aren't gorgeous now," Heidi was standing in front of me.

She turned me around so my legs dangled over the counter top. She stepped in-between my legs and placed her hands on my waist and continued. "But it is what attracted me to you… along with your courage and no shit taking attitude you developed" she smiled and placed a light kiss on my lips.

Ok its not like I've completely switched sides and neither has Heidi. We both love men and prefer to end up with them as a mate but we are just best friends. Close companions that keep each other company when our respective men were missing.

"What about green eyes?" I asked

"LOVE IT! How about like…. um, oh what's that vegetable called again…. Oh celery! A nice light green. See where that takes you" Heidi agreed

I closed my eyes to concentrate, which I normally don't need to do, but since I haven't gone on a big hunt in a few days it would take some concentration. Heidi kept bugging me to go into the city with her, but I found a good loner on the outskirts of town that was fine to hold me over until I got the motivation to go on a bigger hunt.

I opened my eyes 10 seconds later and Heidi looked into my light green eyes and smiled at the hairstyle I picked. I chose red hair with an asymmetrical cut, where in the back my hair barely came to the top of my neck and then angled down towards the front where it came just to the top of my shoulders.

"Perfect!" Heidi advised. "Now let's get to class. We have Bio at 9" Heidi cheerily called out as she went back to her room to get her coat and bag.

"Yes, lets get going. I'd hate to be late for my what, 12th, 13th first day of college" I replied with little enthusiasm.

"Come on Bells! You know one of the reasons Aro lets you leave Volterra is for going to school or to work."

I completely spaced off not listening to Heidi after she called me an old nickname, Bells. My mind went back to hazy memories that I never wanted to think about or ever go back to and actually remember. Back to that place and those people. I growled quietly at the memories that tried to resurface, forcing them back away before those golden eyes came into focus to make me go completely undone again, Heidi didn't even notice. She was too busy babbling on and on about my so called special treatment.

"Heidi," I cut her off sharply, "Aro does not give me special treatment. I came willingly to the Volturri if you remember. And as Aro saw, I could not be stuck in those walls all the time, so we added to our agreement."

"Yea I know and I'm really happy Aro went for it. Especially since it got me away from there… and Jane!" Heidi shivered thinking about our fellow guard member. "So lets get to Bio then we have that 2 hour English class" Heidi grimaced at the thought of the English course I picked.

"What's wrong with English and for that matter Shakespeare?" I asked Heidi innocently as we walked across campus. She gave me her 'you've got to be kidding me' look, knowing all too well that this was payback for the PE class she picked last time we left Volterra to play college students. I may have been a vampire now for 120 years but I somehow still manage to be clumsy and I still hate PE.

I hooked my arm through Heidi's and cuddled up next to her as we walked. "Oh come on it will be fun! Two hot freshmen in a upper 300 level course with all upperclassmen. We can annoy the hell out of them by arguing everything they say. I know how much you like to purposely disagree with someone just to piss them off!"

We laughed and chatted and planned our annoyance techniques, I barely noticed the snow falling around us, the people walking by us, and I definitely did not see the guy walk past us with the golden eyes

**AN: So here is chapter 1 with a few minor changes and some grammar fixes (sorry I am not a grammar nut and very bad at it)**


	3. Chapter 2

I still do not own Twilight

**AN: Yay so got some motivation to post another chapter after getting quite a few follows and reviews. Hopefully this chapter will get some reviews :)**

Chapter 2

As we walked into the classroom, Heidi and I shook off the snow that had not melted off of us and we took the two seats in the last row in the back left corner, me taking the very last chair with Heidi sitting to my right. We watched everyone walk in, quietly making comments about them to each other.

Right at 9 our Biology professor all but staggered into the room. He is a middle aged balding man (who probably started to go bald in college) who looked like he hit the bottle one too many times the previous night, either in anticipation or complete dread of another first day of classes. I murmured to Heidi that it was most likely dread that was making him hung over. He also looked as though he got dressed in the dark and then slept in his clothes, which wouldn't surprise me since it seemed as though he was still drunk…. Or at least he smelled like he was.

I could tell this was going to be a painful semester of Biology as anytime Professor Evans got off topic, usually muttering something like one of his muttering were about "damn strippers" (AN I swear my bio prof actually muttered that one day!) and one of the students would ask a question that was completely moronic of him or her to ask.

I really think people are going backwards in evolution in terms of intelligence. I am rolling my eyes and sighing so much in annoyance, I'm getting dizzy. Heidi finally smacked me to get me to stop, saying it was distracting and that I will rattle something loose if I roll my eyes one more time.

I smirked and turned towards her to do a completely melodramatic exaggerated eye roll and sigh. But instead of meeting Heidi's onyx eyes I made eye contact with golden ones from my past.

My panic shot through the roof. If my heart had still beat it would have stopped for a second then started to go a million miles a minute.

"Shit" I breathed out barely audible for Heidi to hear me, the shock still showing in my face. His eyebrow quirks up in confusion and my control starts to slip and rapidly deteriorate, as recognition started to hit him.

Then it all falls apart and it only takes a split second for him to see the features he hasn't seen in 120 years except for one feature. Instead of the chocolate brown eyes he remembered, his eye contact was with blood red ones instead.

As soon as I lost my disguise I gained it back but it was too late. He knows who I am and what I've become, I could all but feel his sadness and disappointment in my diet choice as I knew very well I could be living differently.

Time seemed to slowly tick by as we continue to stare at each other as we waited for the end of class. I didn't want to answer his questions or look into his golden eyes with the disappointment that will show when he asks why. Why I chose this diet and why I'm with Heidi as I am sure he was recognized her by now.

We are finally dismissed and I pack and race out of the room as fast as I can without the humans noticing that I am moving just a bit too fast. I made it out the door and to the almost empty stairwell (thank you lazy humans for taking the elevator or the more main stairways in the building) but a hand suddenly wraps around my upper and calm starts to seep through me.

I try to block it but he is too close in my space for any barrier not to include him, especially with the contact. With nowhere to go I let him pull me to an empty classroom. He lets me go and my anger and panic return as he closes and locks the door.

In hopes that I could make him think he made a mistake and he will let me go, I lash out at him

"What the fuck? Who the hell do you think you are? What do you think you are doing? Get the hell out of my way and let me go!"

"Bella?" he asked like a parent trying to get a child to tell the truth. But I keep going fueled by anger.

"I don't know what or who the hell you are talking about"

He grabs my shoulders and shakes me hard, and almost yells

"Isabella Marie Swan" I scoff at his use of my old last name, but what did I expect he doesn't know the name I use, "I know that its you. What the hell happened?"

I finally look up at him taking deep short unnecessary breaths. I finally give up on pretending that I didn't know the person in front of me, and addressed him

"Jasper please let me go. Heidi is waiting for me and is probably already searching the building for me. Besides like I said in a much earlier conversation I am not the Bella you remember. Though letters do say a lot, they can only say so much on how a person has changed" I looked down feeling somewhat disappointed in who I was.

Jasper sighed, "Isabella… I told you we were coming here. Why did you come here too?"

**AN: Wait what? Bella knew? Please review and please also ignore some of the spelling mistakes. I do my best to spell check but things do get missed**


	4. Chapter 3

I still do not own Twilight

**AN: So this is some of Jasper's POV starting from before classes begin to where we left off last chapter and continuing on from there. I know I am posting a lot more than I said but I am excited with the follows. This chapter is longer 2k+ words! So I'm hoping to get some more reviews from it :) Enjoy**

Chapter 3

JPOV

_Uhg how many times have I tried to read this paragraph? Who would think that a vampire could get so distracted by their thoughts?_

I looked around my room from the leather sofa I was currently laying on in my study. I didn't really have a bedroom in the house, just my study. Since I didn't need to sleep I was content with my sofa and my much smaller closet than the one I had back in Forks. I looked at the books that covered almost all of my walls and thought about how much she would like the copious amount I had. I would give them all to her just to see her again.

It has been 120 years since I last saw her but thankfully we connected again. I was a bit sad she did not get to have the normal life we left her to have but I was still happy all the same that I could still talk to her. My mind wandered to her last email, which was over a week ago, the longest we have gone between corresponding. She seemed sad and lonely

Jasper,

My holidays were fine. Didn't do much.

Exchanged a few gifts and had a lovely feast.

Any resolutions? Lol

Happy New Years

I had responded but I didn't really know what to say.

We never got a chance to spend time together back in Forks I missed Bella…. Isabella as she reminds me often, greatly, and with the amount of time I have spent alone since we left her and since I have reconnected with her I got the feeling she wasn't who we thought she was when she had been part of our family, she has definitely had a drastic change in her life since we left.

It seemed, as though some days from what I could read in the subtext was that she was happy and other days completely miserable. She mentioned having a couple of really close friends but never any names.

_I wonder if she feels as lonely as I do, even surrounded by friends or family? _ I mused to myself. And then it hit me again.

That sensation where my heart felt like it was being squeezed and then it was gone. I have felt it several time in the last 100 years but the first time was at Bella's… _sigh_ Isabella's disastrous 18th birthday party, when Edward, _moron_, shoved her back onto the table glass table that shattered beneath her.

A knock at my door brought me out of my memories before I could get to more painful parts of it.

"Come in" I said softly putting the book on the floor, finally giving up. Rose slipped in and sat by me on the adjacent arm chair and gave me a soft smile.

"We are about to leave for campus if you want to ride with Emmett and myself," Rose offered

I gave her an appreciative smile as she and her mate Emmett welcomed me back to the family with little scolding for staying away for so long. After all our time together I really felt as though Rose was my actual twin sister sometimes. She never pushed me to talk but would join me in my study just to keep me company.

We never felt the need to fill the silence with conversation and she would always send me waves of happiness. Even after the party, Rose was there helping calming me down, she wasn't mad or disappointed she just was worried for me as a sibling worries for the other when they are hurt or upset.

Then when Alice came to me with the divorce papers shortly after leaving Forks, Rose was there to support me and be there for me when I was kicked down again.

"Thank you. I think I will take your offer." After a beat I decided to finally as someone that is mated about the sensation I felt. I decided Rose would best as she is honest and won't push me too much to find out why.

"Rose… what was it like when you realized Emmett was your mate? What did you feel?"

She thought for a minute. "Its hard to explain. As soon as I saw him, I knew I had to protect him. I felt... a pull, I guess, towards him. And when we were apart at first it was almost painful. Like something was wrapped around my chest, squeezing it tighter and tighter. Why do you ask? Have you met someone? You never leave the house!"

"No dear sister, I have not met anyone. I was just thinking, while trying to block out certain feelings and noises from…" I stopped mid sentence as Rose knew who I spoke of. She could hear them together too. "Since I thought I had met my mate but I guess I never felt anything like what you just described, and apparently Alice never did either."

I was now sitting up on the couch resting my elbows on my knees. I put my face in my hands and rubbed my hands up and through my hair. Rose came to sit next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"You will know when you see her that she is you mate. You will find her when you least expect it and I hope you find her sooner rather than later. You deserve to have your true mate and be happy." She was sending waves of love and hope and I hugged her, sending her my gratitude.

"Well…" I said with fake enthusiasm breaking our hug, "Lets go to class!"

As Emmett drove I looked over my schedule… great year 1…. Again.

9:00-General Bio Level 100

10:00- Works of Shakespeare Level 350

3:00- Colonial History Level 200

5:00- US History Civil War-Present Level 100

As one of the last to enter Bio I took a seat in the back right corner there were only two other students in the back row. A pretty blonde and one I couldn't see but she had red hair. I knew instantly they were vampires but what really bothered me was that I couldn't feel their emotions and couldn't really pick up their scents.

Throughout class I could tell the one that I couldn't see was already annoyed by the course. I heard the blonde whisper to her something about rattling something loose. That is when my eyes made contact with the red haired girl, but her eyes were green.

_How can that be if she is a vampire?_

I didn't recognize her but apparently she recognized me because I was hit with a wave of panic. A panic I felt a long time ago in a dance studio in Phoenix. I quirked my eyebrow trying to figure out why I felt her panic. Then I realized and barely whispered, "Bella" at the same time I saw her mouth "shit".

Then I saw her, really saw her. Her mahogany hair, heart shaped face, beautiful full lips that always had a slight pout to them then her eyes… her beautiful….red eyes? Wait what? Her doe eyes were no longer chocolate brown which of course would be strange since she is a vampire. But why?

As soon as it was there it was gone back to the green eyes and red hair. Her face now void of emotions and no emotions emitted from her either

We stared at each other the rest of class

_What is she doing here? Did she want to get caught? _ I thought to myself. I finally got a good look at her neighbor and I assumed friend. _Heidi. Crap why is a Volturri guard member here with Bella?_

The bell rang and Bella dashed out. I followed her scent to an empty stairwell, trapping her two landings below. My hand wrapped around her upper arm and I sent her a wave of calm and willingness to get her to come with me without making a scene.

As soon as I locked the door she lashed out at me

"What the fuck? Who the hell do you think you are? What do you think you are doing? Get the hell out of my way and let me go!"

"Bella?" I asked with a glimmer of hope, unsure of if that hope was that I was wrong or hope that I finally get to see her. But she keeps throwing off waves of anger and fighting my grasp.

"I don't know what or who the hell you are talking about"

I grabbed her by her shoulders and shake her hard, and almost yell,

"Isabella Marie Swan" she quietly scoffed when I call her by her full name, "I know that its you what the hell happened?"

She finally looks up at up at me taking deep short unnecessary breaths. I feel her resolve and she finally gives up on pretending, and addresses me with pleading eyes,

"Jasper please let me go. Heidi is waiting for me and is probably already searching the building for me. Besides like I said in a much earlier conversation I am not the Bella you remember. Though letters do say a lot, they can only say so much on how a person has changed" She looked down and I could feel the waves of disappointment coming off her.

I sighed, "Isabella… I told you we were coming here. Why did you come here too?"

BPOV

"You knew we were coming here from my last email, yet here you are risking the chance of running into one of the others. What were you thinking?" He shook my shoulders again trying to get me to look at him, waiting for my answer. But I didn't have one. Not one I could give him now.

But he was right. I did know that the Cullen's would be here from Jasper's last response. We have been writing to each other for the last 100 years, ever since Jasper realized I was still alive… and still 18. I was sloppy, and I did not have complete understanding of my powers.

Heidi, Demetri and I were in NYC and I was doing some freelance writing for several magazines and some small newspapers doing reviews for cultural exhibits, shows, concerts, etc. I used a pen name Charilee (pronounced like Carly) Dwyer, but some of the magazines posted a picture of the author next to the article. I changed some of my features but I was still pretty recognizable if someone really looked. Apparently I was very recognizable to a certain vampire.

Jasper saw one of my articles on an exhibit of civil war artwork. He knew it was me the minute he saw my picture. He contacted my editor and got my email address.

We left New York as soon as my editor told me someone called looking for me or any of my contact information. I proceeded to live in Volterra for 30 years not doing anything, but I will always remember that first email…

Bella,

I read your review on eh exhibit at the Met. It was wonderful.

I will have to make a special trip up to NYC to see

It myself. I just have to wonder Bella, how do you look so

similar to how you did 20 years ago at your 18th birthday? I

know this isn't an old picture of you or that it has been photo-

shopped, but something is different. So the only answer is that

you were turned. Who and when were you turned? I promise

I promise not to tell the family and you don't have to worry

about Edward hearing it in my thoughts, as I am not currently with

the family nor have I been for the last 20 years. Please respond back.

Jasper Whitlock

PS. I'm sorry

I was curious about the fact that he wasn't with the family. Why did he leave them? Was he at least with Alice? Why the last name change? I could read in the subtext so much sadness and loneliness, but I did not want to answer. What made me was his PS. I had to let him know I never blamed him nor was I ever mad at him. It was their nature… it was my nature, fresh blood is hard to resist.

So I responded...

Jasper

I was not sure if I was going to respond back until I read you PS.

You have nothing to be sorry for. I never blamed you and I was

never mad at you. All I wanted to do after it happened was to

tell you I was not mad and comfort you, as I am sure you felt

terrible about what happened. I have felt it myself. But Edward

and Alice… they would not let me near you of course…

"Too dangerous" are the words I remember most.

As for when I was changed… about 9 months after you all left.

It was right after graduation when I left Forks. As for who

turned me, I cannot tell you. It is not that I do not know who

my sire is, I certainly do but I cannot tell you in this email.

And I do not wish for you to know, as knowing your

disappointment in what has happened to me would make me

sad.

I will tell you someday but this is not it. But I have a question

for you, why are you no longer with the family?

Isabella

I left no last name; Jasper did not need to know it was that of Aro's and his brothers. But we continued to correspond like that for the next 100 years. About 12 years ago he told me he was rejoining the family but was not sure how he felt about it.

I told him I was happy for him, as he had seemed lonely since I would never tell him my actual location. I always felt as though he may try to find me.

His last email just after Christmas he told me the Cullen's were heading back to Massachusetts to attend Amherst. I told Aro about the update on the Cullens and he requested that Heidi and I go to Massachusetts and to fulfill my job. I was happy to get out of Volterra but I wasn't thrilled about having to actually do my part as a guard member. I am already regretting my decision to tell him.

Maybe I felt as though it was time for Jasper and I to actually see each other. There were times I would read his email or just be laying in my bed when a strange sensation would hit me. It felt as though something was squeezing my frozen heart. It would pass and then it would be sometime until the next time I felt it. But after all of our corresponding I laughed once in a while thinking about how the situation between Jasper and I was like the old movie with Meg Ryan "You've Got Mail"

"Jasper please, let me go." I barely whispered. "I will be late for class"

He let go of my shoulders to ask, "What class?"

I pulled out my schedule because for once I really could not remember what my next class was. "Works of Shakespeare" I told him

He grinned, "Well I am glad there will be another freshman in class with me then. But I am not surprised you are taking this. You did love the classics and Shakespeare. Why don't we walk and talk."

"Did you get a hold of my schedule Mr. Whitlock? Maybe it is you who is following me!" I teased him. "Yes lets walk but I am in no mood to really talk. I do not think I am ready to answer your questions."

"Okay, how about just one for now. Heidi… is she the Heidi from the Volturri guard?" He asked quietly already knowing the answer but looking for confirmation.

I took my time just to say the one word to confirm,

"Yes"

**AN: So I have up to chapter 15 typed and ready to go. So I may be able to post more often if I keep getting the incentive :P**


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

**AN: Thank you so much everyone for the reviews and alerts, it was nice to wake up to. I will do my best to respond to each one. I know some are probably like "why is she mad at Jasper? He said they would be there!" My hint to you is to be patient and wait a couple more chapters or if you really can't wait go back and check out a few lil bits (sorry don't want to give away too much where is the fun in that :D**

**To my reviewer Rosalie (Guest)- Yes I have 15 chapters typed and just about ready to go but I don't want to post them out too quickly. Last time I got major writers block and didn't touch the story for 2 years. I'm still struggling with the ending. And I'd like to make this last a bit**

**Oops this was long, I hate long notes so here is chapter 4.**

* * *

Chapter 4

BPOV

Heidi is not aware of my communications with Jasper so when we got outside of the classroom I stopped and said without looking at him,

"We should go in separately, Heidi is already in there saving a seat for me and she does not know we have been talking for the last 100 years. I am not sure how she will react to finding out."

Jasper nodded his head in understanding; "Okay I will give you a 10 count after you are seated." I started to open the door but before I could enter Jasper stopped me. "But, we do need to talk I have a feeling that you may have held back a lot about yourself when I have been very open with you."

I nodded, as it was true. Jasper has been very open and honest not holding anything back about how he is feeling or where he was or what he has been up to, yet I tell him only what I felt he needed to know, which wasn't very much.

"We will," I told him. "I just need some time" even though I have had 100 years. I just didn't want to see the disappointment from my old family yet. I walked into the room and sat next to Heidi who was sending major looks screaming 'where the hell have you been!'

But before she could actually ask, Jasper entered which caught Heidi's attention. "Isn't that one of the Cullen's?" she asked me

"Yes… yes it is" trying to make it sound like I was just as surprised as her. Heidi gave me a funny look.

_This is going to be rough, _I thought

Class ended early since it was the first day and the professor didn't seem to want to keep us the full 2 hours. I headed out with Heidi to make sure Jasper didn't try to catch back up with me. My next class wasn't until 5 when I had US history: Civil War – Present I.

Heidi had decided to not join me on the history track and decided on a 2pm Business communication and 4pm Business Law thinking she would continue for her law degree. I rolled my eyes with she told me that when I gave her the news of coming to Amherst. She would be the worst lawyer.

With not very much time between classes Heidi opted to go hunting the "vegetarian" way, so we parted ways. I headed off to the library not wanting to be alone in our big apartment as she to the woods. I headed up to the 4th floor to take solace in the quietness; No one really comes up here, as it is the old microfilms and old reference books that are all computerized now.

Sinking into one of the big oversized, overstuffed armchairs my phone beeps indicating I had an email. I pulled out my laptop to read the email and to do some research on my old family. The email was from Jasper.

"Surprise, surprise" I muttered sarcastically to myself 

Isabella,

I know you want time before we talk but I think

It would be better if we talked sooner rather than

later. As you know it is difficult in my family's

house to keep secrets and if anyone knew we were

planning on meeting someone or all of them would

want to join. And I know you are definitely not

ready for that. I have US history tonight at 5.

Please lets meet up after class if you are free.

J 

I laughed quietly to myself because I knew the history class he mentioned is the same as mine. It is the only 5pm 2 ½ hours history class scheduled. I responded back 

Jasper

I really think you are stalking me and my class

schedule. I will see you at 5 for US History.

Afterwards we can go to this café that is just

off campus. Not many students will be there as

it is not a Starbucks. You are right, meeting sooner

will be better, but remember you will still have a

secret to keep.

Isabella 

Bored with the library only after 20 minutes and in no mood to do research on my family, like I should be so I have no surprises. I pack my bag and text Heidi that I'm going to head into the city for a "snack". There have been a string of attack and I decided that the attacker has brutalized enough women and needs to be punished.

I go to the hospital first to visit the most recent victim to get the attackers scent off of her. I followed it to a local pub where many of the cities college students go after class. He is sitting at the bar and I take the seat next to him. He is actually not bad looking. But not super hot. He was that good-looking kid in school but couldn't get the girls to pay attention to him

We chat it up, heavily flirt with him, making him think he has found his next victim. I suggest his place. Staging his suicide was easy. I didn't bite him, but slit his wrists and drank his blood that way. I wrote his confession note stating that he was the attacker on the 3 women and he couldn't take the guilt any longer.

With my thirst sated and my stomach all sloshy and full I head back to my car to get back to Amherst to get to class with 5 minutes to spare.

Taking my seat and waiting for the rest of the class to join, my phone goes off telling me Heidi has texted me 

PAR-TAY! 2nite PIKES. C U there!

_Great, I am so not in the mood to party. I never am. I__'__ll just make an appearance for Heidi then go home and wait for the inevitable call or visit from another Cullen member as Jasper was not able to hide our secret _I thought

While I was thinking all of this the seat next to me is taken, but I do not look at him as class has begun. I quietly tell him

"This is a bad idea. We shouldn't meet. Maybe Heidi and I will just drop out and go elsewhere." Elsewhere being home to Italy but he didn't need to know that now. "You have a mind reader and a fortune teller along with Esme and Carlisle who will know something is up. They will find out too soon after we have talked and what has happened and then I will get the inevitable visit"

"Yes but do you really want to be walking around campus or be in a class with Alice, or Emmett or heaven forbid, Edward?"

"Well it's a good thing I can disguise myself"

"Which faltered the minute you saw me" He reminded me.

"Only because I hadn't fed in several days and you caught me by surprise. I am now prepared" We bickered back and forth

As class wore on, the feeling of doom came more and more apparent and I was getting antsy.

_Maybe I could bolt on him. My shield will mask my scent. _ I thought

I felt a wave of calm come towards me but I quickly put my shield and pushed it away. "Don't."

"Stop fidgeting and don't you dare think you can bolt on me!" he didn't even look at me with a smirk on his face

Professor Tanner finally let us go and Jasper and I packed our book bags and headed outside to head to the café to talk. As we stepped out I noticed it started to snow again while we were in class. I grumbled at the fluffy white flakes again.

"You are acting like this is a death sentence"

"I'm sorry. My grumbling is not completely directed at you. I'm grumbling at the snow. We should talk. I'm going to keep my current look and maybe this will delay the mid reader and the fortuneteller.

"I would like at some point to see you drop the disguise so you can be who you are suppose to be. I want to actually see you.

"Maybe" _No!_

We entered the café where it was mostly empty but 2 graduate students and the barista. We both ordered small black coffees for props and sat in a corner booth away from the rest.

We didn't say anything at first both wrapped up in our own thoughts, we didn't notice we had been followed

"So where shall I start?" I ask

"How about the beginning"

**AN: Oh I know I'm terrible for leaving it here, but I gotta keep you all hooked somehow lol. But I might be able to get the next one up soon. Remember to review :) they do get me motivated to post.**


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**AN: this is backtracking a bit for some Jasper POV and another POV before going into the explanation. The bold **_**italic **_**stuff**__**is Bella repeating others dialog. If it gets confusing please let me know. This is a super long chapter!**

Chapter 5

JPOV

"You knew we were coming here from my last letter, yet here you are risking the chance of running into one of the others. What were you thinking?" I shook her shoulders again trying to get her to look at me, waiting for her answer.

"Jasper please, let me go." She barely whispered. "I will be late for class"

I let go of her shoulders to ask, "What class?"

She pulled out her schedule "Works of Shakespeare" she told me

I grinned, "Well I am glad there will be another freshman in class with my then. But I am not surprised you are taking this. You did love the classics and Shakespeare. Why don't we walk and talk." I hoped to get some questions answered. But she was nervous.

"Did you get a hold of my schedule Mr. Whitlock? Maybe it is you who is following me!" She teased. "Yes lets walk but I am in no mood to really talk. I do not think I am ready to answer your questions."

"Okay, how about just one for now. Heidi… is she the Heidi from the Volturri guard?" I asked quietly already knowing the answer but looking for confirmation.

She took her time and when she answered she only had one word to say,

"Yes"

When we got outside of the class we decided it would be best if we entered separately as Heidi was waiting for Isabella. She went to enter the class and I had to stop her once more.

"But, we do need to talk I feel as though you may have held back a lot about yourself when I have been very open with you." She nodded and entered the class and took her seat. I finally entered and I could hear Heidi as Isabella if I was a Cullen. She answered with a yes.

_That is something I will have to tell her. Even though I am living with them again, I have decided not to go back to Cullen or Hale, I stayed a Whitlock._

I wanted to talk to her tonight; I needed the answers she always skirted around. I know she wants time but I can't wait.

_Who turned her? Why did she choose that diet? Why did I feel a deep set feeling of emptiness even when she laughed? When can I see her again?_

That last one caught me by surprise but it was true. I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to get to know her. I didn't care that she hunted and fed from humans. She was in control enough to be around them in a college setting

As class was let out I saw that Rose was waiting for me in front of my building in Emmett's Jeep

"Hey how was class?" She asked, genuinely interested

"Interesting," I said after a moment

I knew I couldn't tell her about Isabella but she knew something was up. "I'm going to stay on campus since I have a class at 3 and then at 5. I may also be late coming home after. I might go for a hunt."

She nodded, "Okay, I'll see you later. Text me if you want a hunting partner" and she and Emmett drove off back to the house. I went to the library and picked up a familiar scent

_Of course she would be in the library _I smiled to myself and I decided to send her an email to try and get her to meet with me tonight

Isabella,

I know you want time before we talk but I think

It would be better if we talked sooner rather than

later. As you know it is difficult in my family's

house to keep secrets and if anyone knew we were

planning on meeting someone or all of them would

want to join. And I know you are definitely not

ready for that. I have US history tonight at 5.

Please lets meet up after class if you are free.

J

As I sat and read through the books for Colonial History and US History, which at some point I swore I heard "surprise, surprise" from somewhere in the library, I had to chuckle at some of the inaccurate information. I was interrupted at WWII by my email notification. I read Isabella's reply and I could hear her annoyed sigh of defeat.

Jasper

I really think you are stalking me and my class

schedule. I will see you at 5 for US History.

Afterwards we can go to this café that is just

off campus. Not many students will be there as

it is not a Starbucks. You are right, meeting sooner

will be better, but remember you will still have a

secret to keep.

Isabella

The rest of the day flew and soon I was taking the seat next to her in US History. She was extremely nervous and fidgety. As soon as I took my seat she began to whisper,

"This is a bad idea. We shouldn't meet. Maybe Heidi and I will just drop out and go elsewhere. You have a mind reader and a fortuneteller along with Esme and Carlisle who will know something is up. They will find out too soon after we have talked and what has happened and then I will get that inevitable phone call or have them all just show up to my place."

"Yes but do you really want to be walking around campus or be in a class with Alice, or Emmett or heaven forbid, Edward?"

"Well it's a good thing I can disguise myself"

"Which faltered the minute you saw me" I reminded her.

"Only because I hadn't fed in several days and you caught me by surprise. I am now prepared" We bickered back and forth. I knew she would give up and keep up with our agreement to talk. There was a lot that she held back and I could tell she wanted to give me the answers I was looking for.

I sent a wave of calm come towards her but I felt it get pushed back at me.

"Stop fidgeting and don't you dare think you can bolt on me!" I warned her with a smile

We were released early and Isabella packed our things and headed outside. It started to snow while we were in class. I looked at her when I heard her grumble. She was beautiful under the streetlight with the snow floating down slowly around her.

I was amused by her continued hatred for the snow as we walked to the coffee shop. We grabbed our prop coffees and took the far corner booth

We didn't say much for a few minutes; I could tell she was struggling with what she had to tell me. As she has held it in for so long and my family hurt her so badly by leaving. But I wasn't able to tell from her emotions though as she seemed to be blocking me but I could definitely tell by the look on her face.

"So where shall I start? She finally asked

"How about the beginning?"

RPOV

When Emmett and I returned to the house I decided to seek out Carlisle. Emmett thankfully had a grudge match with Tony and Alice is never far from him, giving me a good distraction. I found Carlisle in his office review some medical records on his computer.

"Bad case?" I ask him

"Sadly yes. A little girl with a very fast growing infection we can not seem to find the source of" he furrowed. He closed his laptop and looked up at me. "What can I help you with Rose?"

I sat in his guest chair and spoke lowly, "I'm worried about Jasper. I had hoped when he had returned he would spend more time with us since he was away for so long. But he shuts himself into his study, and only leaves to hunt, which is usually alone, and now for class. He asked me this morning about how it feels when we find our mate, but he never leaves the house."

"Esme and I have had the same concerns. He seems even more closed off than before he left and before..." he trailed off not wanting to remember the day he lost a family member

"Bella's party" I finished for him. He nodded. "He is hiding something from us and I am surprised Alice and Edward haven't picked up on it."

"Jasper had asked Alice to keep her distance after their divorce. He was betrayed." Carlisle explained. "And Edward has always done his best to stay out of his head because Jasper has always tended to replay his past either consciously or not, that I am not sure of."

"I know you are not a fan of spying on each other but I am really worried about him. He seemed off when he came out of class. I don't think he is thinking straight and I'm afraid he might do something stupid"

Carlisle was hesitant with what he said next. "I'm not thrilled with the idea but I think we may need to check on him. Even for some piece of mind. We will let the others know we are going hunting and then try to go pick up his scent"

"I will meet you out front in 2 minutes"

BPOV

I take a deep unnecessary breath, out of habit I guess and launch into it.

"Do you know how Edward told me you all were leaving without me?" I was unsure of what he had told the family to get them to agree to leave without me, so I asked to get a better idea of where to start.

"That you understood why and that you wanted to have a normal life like he wants for you" Jasper said slowly and a bit unsure, as if he was afraid he got the answer wrong.

"HA!" I sarcastically laughed a little too loud, "That jackass. Well… he lied to you all."

"What do you mean? Why would he do that?"

"Because he was and probably still is a coward, that's why." I paused and shook my head in disbelief at Edward's twisted mind.

"He left me in the woods by Charlie's old house. He told me that he did not want me and that I wasn't good for him," Jasper growled and I put my hand up to stop him from interrupting.

"I went catatonic, one of the guys from the Quillete tribe found me hours later, laying on the forest floor. I was a zombie, a shell of the person I once was. For months I just went through the motions of the daily routine, until Jacob came to see me one day. Two vampires were in the area, one he described as Victoria.

"I snapped out of it and realized she was coming for me. A mate for a mate she had said. I became so angry that you all left me to deal with this myself. All I wanted to do was find all of you and rip each of you apart. Her and her partner were building an army of newborns. Jacob told me there were more and more everyday.

"So I took a little trip to get away. Not just to drive Victoria away from Charlie and Forks, but because I knew that there had to be someone that would care that there was an army of newborns and would possibly help. I just wasn't sure if they would" I stopped for a moment because the next part would not be easy to say. I bit my lip in nervousness

"Go on, I won't interrupt."

I nodded as this is where it got hard to talk, "I arrived in Volterra two days after I left Forks for "Spring Break". Charlie thought I went with the seniors on the senior trip to Mexico" I rolled my eyes, like I would go on that trip.

_Flashback..._

"_A member of the guard quickly found me and "invited" me on a special tour as I was perfect for them, a lone tourist with only a messenger bag of essentials. Heidi led the group through the tunnels to the Volturri. I stopped her before I entered and spoke quickly and quietly_

"_I know you are a vampire and you are part of the guard for Aro Marcus and Caius. I wish to speak with them." I was told to wait and she would see what she could do._

"_I waited in the waiting area with Gianna as they fed on the rest of the group. When the room was cleaned and all remnants of my group disposed of, Heidi ushered me in_

"_Aro this is the human that knows what we are but wished to speak with you", Heidi introduced. _

_I quickly started to explain the situation before they could any sort of immediate decision to kill me, "Aro, my name is Isabella Swan. I have a proposition for you."_

"_And what could you provide us? You should be killed right here and now for your knowledge of us." Marcus interjected_

_Before he could continue Aro stood and held his hand up to silence his brother and walked towards me slowly. "Isabella…what a lovely name. Since you know who we are you much be aware of my ability."___

_I nodded, "Yes I do. But I am not sure if it will work, as another vampire with similar mind reading abilities cannot hear my thoughts. But you are more than welcome to try"_

"_Am I wrong to assume you speak of Edward Cullen?" _

_I did not respond to him_

"_I see" Aro mused. As he took my hands in both of his, he closed his eyes as if it would help him hear… see better. His eyes then snapped open_

"_Amazing! It seems as though like young Edward, I can not read you mind either." He now sat in his chair staring at me intrigued by this human that he could not get any information by his ability._

"_So your proposition dear Isabella, Please explain."_

"_There is a vampire Victoria and her partner, whose name I do not know, are currently building an army of newborns and seeking revenge for the destruction of her mate who had hunted me last spring. If you help me get rid of her and her army as I am in fear they will hurt my father, my mother and my friends…. I will join the guard."_

_Pause in flashback..._

I did not look at Jasper until now. I saw pain in his eyes.

"Please continue," he whispered barely loud enough for me to hear him

_Flashback continued..._

_Aro thought for what seemed like hours he then looked at Jane and addressed her, "Jane please gather the member necessary to take care of this situation with the fewest you need. We don't want to make a scene"_

"_Yes sir. Alec, Felix, Demetri we shall leave in the morning."_

_They left the room to prepare for their departure, Aro turned his attention back to me. "Isabella I assume you are still in school"_

"_Yes sir, I graduate in June"_

"_Then as part of our agreement I wish for you to go back and graduate. Education is very important to me. Then I want you to return to Volterra as quickly as possible to be turned and become a member"_

"_Thank you Aro for your understanding and generosity, I shall see you in June, but I must ask how will I handle this with my parents? I need something to tell them other than abruptly leaving and disappearing."_

"_I see that you care for them very much. I will have Gianna take care of that for you. Now let me get you some sort of accommodation set up for the night and I will have Demetri come for you in the morning to fly back home."_

"_Thank you but I have a bed at a near by hostel that will be fine for tonight"_

"_Then I bid you good night and goodbye for now"_

_Heidi escorted me back to my hostel and outside I realized we would become good friends, "Thank you for giving me that chance to talk to Aro. I wasn't sure if you or any of the other members would allow me to"_

"_Well Isabella you intrigued me and I like you. I hope we become friends." We smiled at each other and said good night. We have been friends since_

_End Flashback_

"The next day I flew back to Forks with the members selected. I told Charlie I wasn't feeling well and that the trip was boring and would rather spend time with him and Jacob. Which is exactly what I did. I came out of my funk pulled my grades up and reconnected hung out with dad and Jacob before I would leave them forever."

"Two nights later Heidi came by to tell me that everything had been taken care of and she would see me soon. In May I received a letter from some "scholarship" program in Europe saying I had been selected for an internship overseas. Charlie was thrilled and practically packed my bags for me.

"June came I graduated in the top 5% of the class and a week later I was being greeted by Heidi and Demetri at the gate at the airport in Italy. And that is pretty much the story" I finished without going into the details of my change or the rest of my agreement with Aro.

"How are you able to leave Volterra? Aro never lets any of the member leave unless there is a situation that needs to be dealt with," Jasper asked

"After about 15 years, Aro, with the help of Heidi, saw how miserable I was being stuck in Volterra and how easily pissed off I'd get at certain guard members. I told him that I did not regret my decision, and I don't, but those old walls are tiresome after getting a few master degrees while stuck in there. So Aro and I made a change to our agreement that I could leave with Heidi, or another guard member, and go where I pleased as long as I was at school or working."

_And to gather and send information on vampires in the area._ I thought. "But I had to return when Aro needed me or I had been gone for too long."

"So, you sought out the Volturri and was changed to become like them because what?Where you really that mad? " Jasper was starting to get mad.

"No. As pissed off as I am at all of you, especially Edward for the crap he pulled and then the rest of you going along with his bullshit of leaving me without saying goodbye. I went to them for help. It was either watch the ones I love die, be tortured and then hopefully die at the hands of Victoria, or go to the Volturri and make the deal I made."

"Isabella, I am sorry. We did not agree with Edward at first. None of us wanted to leave you. I especially didn't want to but like you said before no one would let us near the other. All I wanted to do was apologize. I'm sorry we left. We should never have left without seeing you first" Jasper had taken my hand as he was telling me this.

We had been so wrapped up we didn't notice the two people that had walked in a few minutes after we did until they interrupted us.

"I knew Edward was an idiot but I didn't know he was an asshole too"

**AN: So here it is. The explanation of how Bella was turned. I'm sorry if it's a bit confusing. Please review or PM any confusion and I will respond to explain best I can. **


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

**AN: So not very long but I wanted to get a chapter up before I went to my interview this afternoon. Might get the next one up when I get home**

Chapter 6

_Previously..._

"_I knew Edward was an idiot but I didn't know he was an asshole too"_

"Rosalie"

"Sorry Carlisle"

Startled by the two voices I looked up and saw Rose and Carlisle standing a few feet from our booth smiling at us.

"How long have you been standing there? What did you hear? How much did you hear?" I asked starting to panic. I was not ready to see anyone else from the family especially Rose who had hated me and Carlisle who was a second father to me.

Carlisle spoke what I feared. "All of it Bella" _Crap he knows it me! _I looked away not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

They sat down, joining us in our booth, Rose next to me and Carlisle next to Jasper. It was silent until Rose broke the ice.

"Bella, I like the hair, but I definitely prefer you natural mahogany color" I stared at her in disbelief as though reading my thoughts she continued, "I never hated you Bella, I was jealous. You were choosing wrong. You had everything I wanted and you were willing to throw it away for Edward. But I am proud of how brave you were, going to the Volturri."

"As am I." Carlisle agreed. "You knew how they act from the stories Edward and I told you, yet you went to them anyways."

"Because you left me no choice." I snapped. "You left me to fend for myself. What else was I suppose to do? Let Victoria kill me and my family?"

"And I am sorry. Jasper is right, we should have spoken to you as well, when Edward said we had to leave" Carlisle apologized. I finally looked at him and saw that the disappointment wasn't at me but at himself and the rest of his family.

My phone beeped taking me out of the moment. Looking at my phone I realized it had been two hours since I got out of class and Heidi had left me 3 messages

WHERE RU?

RU OK?

ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE BIOTCH!

"Crap!" I muttered as I messaged her back.

HEY I AM OK. SRY PHONE VOLUME ON LOW

4 CLASS 4GOT TO TURN SOUND ON.

WHATS UP?

Placing my attention back to the Cullen's in front of me, "I'm sorry I was suppose to meet Heidi hours ago. She is gonna kill me!" I started to gather my things when Carlisle stopped me.

"Bella, please come back to the house with us. I know Esme and Emmett will want to see you"

I felt like hyperventilating, "I…I can't. I'm sorry I need to go meet Heidi. I'm not ready to see the rest of the family. Hell I was barely ready to see you two or Jasper for the matter of it."

"You know Edward and Alice will find out, and rather quickly too. Especially since there have been those killings in the city"

Huffing, "Look…" I started to defend myself but was cut off by Carlisle.

"Why don't you wait to explain your diet and everything once everyone is together, so you don't have to tell us several times."

_How does he always know I will cave in? _

"Okay, let me make a quick call to Heidi. I'll meet you outside. And please, it's Isabella" Once they were out, I dialed her number and left a message as her voicemail picked up

_Probably is either ignoring me back or she is with a guy. _

I rolled my eyes at my thoughts as I began to leave her a message

"Hey hunny. I'm sorry I did get your messages, but I'm not going

to make the party. The Cullen's are here and I'm heading over

to their place. Maybe I can get some info for Aro and start planning

on getting this job done. I'm fine. I promise. Love you. Bye"

I looked outside hoping they didn't hear me leave my message. I gathered my things and buttoned myself into my coat and headed outside,


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing haha.

**AN: So I'm super sorry about the short previous chapter, it was just a good place to end it before it got crazy long. And don't forget to read and review. Stuff in **_**BOLD ITALICS **_**is what Isabella is repeating from the past. If it's confusing let me know.**

Chapter 8

We stood on the porch for a moment when Carlisle asked, "Would you like to change your appearance Bella?"

"No. I'm not ready for that. I'll wait until everyone is together." He nodded. We entered the home and Carlisle called for Esme. While we waited for her I saw that the Cullen's Massachusetts house was not very different from the one in Forks. It was open and airy but different color scheme and some different furniture

Esme entered the foyer and her focus was instantly on me. I hesitated, as I knew she did not know it was me but I couldn't help the panic start to flow through me. Trying to calm myself I reminded myself that right this moment I am a stranger Carlisle wants to introduce to the family. A new possible friend.

_And that is what I am to them. A stranger. I am so different than the human they once knew._

Jasper elbowed me to introduce myself to Esme, as I should be the one to let her know I am the daughter she lost.

"Hello Esme" I greeted quietly so no one else in the rest of the house would hear. But that is all it took, those two words and I was engulfed in the Esme embrace I have missed.

"Oh Bella is it really you?" She sobbed. All I could do was nod, my throat was thick with emotion and I was afraid my voice would not be strong, as I needed it to be. Esme stepped back but kept her hands on my forearms to get a better look at me.

"What did you do to your hair, sweetheart?"

I smiled as it was not a question I was expecting but not surprised as I'm sure it would be any mother's question if they hadn't seen their child in some time. "I will tell you all when the rest join us?"

"Emmett, Alice, Tony, Edward, please join us in the living room"

"Tony?" I inquired meekly to Jasper, unsure of the unfamiliar name.

Jasper leaned in from behind me and whispered in my ear, "The vampire who is apparently Alice's true mate" I heard the distant pain in his voice.

_No wonder he left the family_

Esme put her arm around my shoulders and sat me down on the couch and took the place to the left of me, holding my hand. Jasper sat himself on my right.

"Keep your influences to yourself" I teased Jasper as I felt a wave of calm and confidence press again my shield. "I need to feel my own emotions to deal with this" Jasper laughed and gave me a genuine smile, one I hadn't seen since before shit went down on my birthday.

I put up my shield to mask my scent and Alice's, Edward's, and Jasper's abilities, along with any that Tony may have.

Alice and Tony joined us first. I could see that Alice did not see this coming. She looked the same maybe a little less hyper. Tony was not what I expected. He was 5'11" with long light brown hair tied back in a low ponytail, and had a more roundish jaw. I would have to find out if he has any special ability that Aro would be interested in. He would be interested in the new addition as it is.

Emmett came in next and sat on the floor in front of the armchair Rose occupied, who began to unconsciously play with his hair.

Edward was last to join but he stayed standing, hovering near the doorway. He looked even more emo than he did 120 years ago.

Carlisle addressed his family first, mostly directing himself at Edward. "It seems as though we did not get the whole story 120 years ago about what happened in Forks that brought upon our sudden upheaval and move, Edward." Edwards look was classic deer in headlights, I smirked.

"I… um… I'm sorry Carlisle I don't know if I understand." He finally sputtered out.

"Well then son, maybe we should have our guest explain then" Edwards focus was now on me.

_Okay, this is it._ _ Time to take away my disguise and bring down Mr. Golden Boy. _

I took a breath to relax and Jasper placed his hand on mine reassuringly. I closed my eyes to concentrate.

The disguise dropped more easily that putting it on. I felt my hair touch past my shoulder blades and I slowly opened my eyes keeping them fairly dark but I still kept my eyes cast down for a moment then I slowly looked up at each member of my old family.

Esme was ecstatic to have her daughter back. Her eyes brimmed with tears that will never fall.

Carlisle smiled at me proudly but I could see behind that smile that he wished I had chosen the diet I had not.

Rose gave me small knowing and welcoming smile. I think our friendship may finally start to develop. I could only hope. I smiled back at her.

Emmett was staring at me slack jawed.

Alice looked almost scared, like she was seeing a ghost.

_Well she is. She stopped seeing me._

Tony was curious but seemed lacking in care of who I was.

I saved Edward for last; I took a moment to compose myself. His face was deadpan of emotion but his eyes were bottomless black holes of disbelief. I couldn't tell if the disbelief was in anger or mild happiness.

Suddenly I was swept up off the couch, "BELLY BELLS!" Emmett yelled laughing. "My little sis is a live… so to speak, but she is here back with us!" He spun us around and around.

"Emmett, put the poor girl down" Rose scolded her mate. Grinning Emmett plopped me back on the couch.

"How?" Alice asked. "I never saw"

"Probably because of the wolves who I spent a lot of time with. And I did not wish for you to see. You must understand Alice, I was pretty pissed off at all of you."

"I'm sorry but you still did answer my question… How?" Alice pushed. She was not excited as she was before everything happened.

_When did she stop wishing for her once best friend to become a vampire?_

"Well, since I do not want to go through the whole thing again. I will give you the bullet points." I looked directly at Edward for my summary.

"Edward lied to you all. I was NOT fine with you leaving me. I went catatonic. Victoria and her toy Riley showed up with a newborn army. I went to Italy and met with Aro and made a deal.

Went back to Forks with guard members who took care of Victoria, Riley and the newborns. Graduated. Went back to Italy. Was changed and now here I am"

Silence

"Edward…" Esme began slowly. "What really happened... between you and Bella... before... we... left?" Oh crap Esme is pissed!

Edward looked at Jasper then Carlisle then to me then down to his feet. He was caged and cornered with nowhere to go.

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASON CULLEN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER?!"

"Whoa" I breathed out. I never saw Esme lose it before and by the looks of the rest of the family they didn't see it much either.

"EXPLAIN NOW!" Esme demanded

With his hesitation to start explaining, I spoke up. "Why don't I tell them then Edward? It is the one human memory I do remember perfectly as my mind is not a sieve and you seem to have forgotten how to speak or tell the truth"

"BURN!" Emmett poked

"Okay then. (AN: this is all from New Moon pretty much) Well Edward suggested to go for a walk with him once he dropped me off at home. So he pulled me along to the one side of my yard where the forest encroached. We were barely in the trail; I could still see the house.

" "_**Bella we are leaving,"**_ " He told me. _**"Why now? Another year…"**_ I started to ask"

" "_**Bella, its time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless"**_ was the first piece of crap he told me but his answer had confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going?"

"Then I realized I misunderstood him. _**"When you say we…"**_ I asked, he told me that he meant his family and himself. He was very sharp and distinct, separating each word. I told him I'd come with you."

" "_**You can't Bella. Where we're going… its not the right place for you."**_ More crap and lies. But being the love sick human I told him that where he was is the right place for me. But he kept pushing."

" "_**I'm no good for you Bella"**_ Which I thought was ridiculous and defended jasper. _**"What happened with Jasper that was nothing."**_ but he told me I was right. _**"It was exactly what was to be expected"**_"__

"Edward broke his promise, unless everything you said was a lie out there," I told Edward. "Back in the woods I reminded him of his promise, _**"You promised! In phoenix, you promised that you would stay..." **_but he cut me off before I could plead with him "_**As long as that was best for you" **_We then got into about that soul crap we got into a few days before. And that is when things changed"

" "_**Bella I don't want you to come with me" **_is what he told me. Isn't that right, Edward?" "

He didn't respond. His focus was still on his feet.

" I had repeated the words back to him trying to sift through them for their real intent, _**"You… don't … want me?"**_ _**"No"**_ but then he tries to make things seem like they will be all right because if he really loved me like he told me because _**"Of course I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that its time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not. Bella. I'm not human."**_ Well no shit Edward I knew you were not human. "

"But then is when you kicked me when I was down. _**"You're not good for me, Bella"**_ those where your exact words… _**"You're not good for me…"**_ then you go on to ask for a favor like I really would have owed it to you. Reckless or stupid. Please that's all I could think about doing."

" "_**Don't worry"**_ you tried to reassure me, _**"you're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." **_And when I asked about your kind Edward, what did you tell me?"

He mumbled something incoherent.

"Oh I know. _**"I wont forget. But my kind we're very easily distracted. That's everything I suppose. We wont bother you again."**_ A clean break… some fucking clean break." I whispered. "And then you were gone. And I was stupid enough to walk forward without thinking. Because if I stopped looking, it was over…. And it was so over."

"Eventually I tripped on something and fell. Once I was down I wasn't able to bring myself to get back up. So I laid there for hours until Sam found me….

"And you know the rest" I finally finished up.

Esme got up quietly and deliberately slowly and walked into the kitchen, which was followed by the sounds of screams and dishware shattering.

"I'm going to make sure she doesn't destroy the kitchen. She just remodeled it," Carlisle got up and followed his wife while casting another disapproving look at his son.

Awkward silence followed.

I could tell that Jasper was trying to calm the room as I felt it pushed against my shield. My gaze was still on Edward. I wanted to hit him so bad but I decided that would be a bad idea.

"So what have you been up to Bells?" Emmett asked trying to defuse the tension

"Not much really. When I'm not in Volterra I'm traveling and attending school or working. I was just there in Italy for the last about 15 years but I was going crazy being there so Aro said I should travel some before I ripped Jane's arm off…. Again." I grinned thinking about the last time I pulled her apart and hid the dismembered limbs

"So you can change your appearance?" Tony asked

"Yes. My eye and hair color and just slightly my facial structure like my nose and the fullness of my lips. I never liked to stand out when I was human. So it came over after my change. I can always blend in. Be that face you forget 5 minutes after meeting. Or be that person you do not want to go near."

"That's not all is it?" Jasper asked

Smiling, "No but I do not want to get into that right now"

"How long have you known Jasper?" Edward finally spoke up.

"Have known what?" Jasper retorted not liking Edwards's tone, fully knowing what he was asked.

"That Bella was turned" Edward said through his teeth.

_Uhg why do they keep calling me Bella!_

Jasper looked at me. I nodded giving the go ahead for him to tell them.

"It's been about 100 years now that _Isabella_, and I have been corresponding. Isabella wrote a review on an exhibit at the Met and the picture they had of her was recent, I could tell the hair was different but the eyes and face were the same. It was a black and white photo so I couldn't tell color but it was too similar to be a coincident.

"So I called her editor to get her contact information and we have been emailing back and for since. But…" he cut Edward off as he opened his mouth to interrupt. "… This morning was the first time I have seen her since her 18th birthday"

Edward muttered something incoherent again

"And please its Isabella" I chimed in. At some point the screaming and smashing ceased and now Carlisle and Esme were walking out of the kitchen.

"Well I guess we know what to get Esme for her birthday" Emmett smiled.

"I'm sorry you all had to witness that, especially you Isabella. Edward, you are in so much trouble when I can figure out a good punishment for you." Esme said politely.

I thought of a few good punishment ideas but decided to keep my mouth shut. The clock chimed, again the time flew by and I realized I should head home.

"I should get going now anyways." I stood. "Esme, Carlisle, thank you for having me but Heidi will be waiting for me" I started for the door

"Oh sweetheart of course, you are more than welcome to come over anytime you wish. And feel free to bring your friend Heidi too!

Stopping at the door trying to cover a laugh with a cough. " I don't think Heidi would joining me in a visit"

"Why not?

"Who is this Heidi anyways? You've mentioned her a few times." Emmett asked

_Crap well it's already in the toilet. So why not add some more entertainment to this shit show._

"Heidi is a good close girlfriend of sorts I guess and a fellow guard member"

Again Emmett was slack jawed, "You mean like girlfriend or _girlfriend_?"

Edward looked horrified at that thought of my relationship status

"What?" I asked them

"You're dating a guard member?" Edward asked through clenched teeth.

"Edward you shouldn't do that. Grinding your teeth is bad. And so what? I'm a guard member why wouldn't I be intimate with one? And I guess dating and intimate aren't actually the words I would use. More like companionship at the moment but Demetri and I are sort of together"

"WHAT?!" Edward growled

"HEY! Remember Edward you left me! You have no say in who I date or have a companionship with or even who I sleep with! You lost right that a long time ago"

"Bella, please! You're my…."

I cut him off. "I swear to God Edward, if you say mate I will rip some valuable parts of you and burn them! If I ever was your mate or if you ever loved me you never would have left me!"

"Isabella…" Alice meekly started

"What?!" I yelled still hyped up.

"Your eyes… How can you…."

I turned and saw myself in the mirror in the foyer, my eyes were bright red.

"I can, because I can. I live with the Volturri a majority of the time. What else would you expect me to do? What else would I feed on inside those walls?"

"You do know another way," Carlisle reminded.

"Yes obviously I do and when I need to I will hunt animals but my main source is humans. Unlike most nomads and the Volturri, I hunt those that do wrong. Murderers rapists, those that need to be punished. I do not play with my food. I will not hunt on the innocent, so they always make sure to bring me someone that deserves to be punished."

"So you and Heidi have been taking care of those in the city?" Carlisle asked. I nodded. "Of course I wish for you to follow the one we do as you still are family. But it is your choice. I am proud that you hunt those that do wrong and how in control you are of your thirst. Edward did give up all of our matters of opinion when he had us leave you. But I hope that we can earn your trust again and that someday you will add our thoughts and opinions into your decision making."

"Thank you Carlisle. Have a good night. Jasper, I will see you in Bio on Wednesday if not sooner." I gave him a smile and a wink. And let myself out.

I stepped into the crisp air and ran through the woods looking for anything that will help with the scratching I felt in my throat.


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

**WARNING- LEMON! (Be kind I'm not very good at it)**

**AN: Here is another longish chapter. Hope you enjoy :D**

Chapter 9

I walked into the living room after hunting down some deer to help me get through the day as I had a feeling I was going to go back over to the Cullen's again at some point to clear up more of the crap of the last 120 years. Heidi was watching a rerun of Full House and as I entered Michelle Tanner said one of her famous lines, "you're in big trouble mister"

"I have to agree with the 5 year old" Heidi informed me from the other side of the couch.

I flopped in the recliner, propped up on the arm with my legs dangling over the other arm, "Why is that?" I asked

"Isabella, remember the last time they were in your life then abruptly left it? I don't want to see you get hurt again. I remember how empty your eyes were when I first met you. A shell of a person. Plus Aro will use you to get to them. I know you still love them like family, but it will kill you if Aro commands you to bring any of them in."

"I'd be happy to bring Edward in, then maybe little Jane would be useful for my entertainment"

"ISABELLA! That is cruel, even for me!" Heidi was honestly shocked I'd say something so dark. It was partially true but I wouldn't admit that to her

Sighing "I'd love to just leave him with her for just a minute, for all the crap he put me through. He deserves to be punished. But you are right I might not have the strength to bring them to Volterra if commanded"

We grew silent and I thought back on the events of the last several hours, I started to laugh

"What is so damn funny that has you laughing so hard?" Heidi asked taken aback by my sudden outburst of giggles

Between the laughing I finally got out, "Oh just that Emmett and Edward have the idea in their heads that we, you and I, are lesbian lovers" I waggled my eyebrows. "I may have put a little too much emphasis on our friendship"

Heidi joined in my laughing fit. "Oh my God! That is GREAT! We should take advantage of this"

Oh man I think my stomach muscles hurt of that is possible

We finally got ourselves under control.

"So time to fess up. Which have you been speaking with and for how long?"

"Jasper. And about 100 years now. Ever since we were in New York City the first time and I was doing my freelance writing. He saw a review I wrote, got my information from my editor. I didn't tell him I was part of the guard until this evening." Thinking to myself for a minute about the time I spent with just him. "It was nice to actually talk to him. The Cullen's always had kept him away from me because of his apparent bloodlust control not being very good. I think it was a load of horseshit, personally. I don't think he ever had a problem with it"

"What do you mean?" Heidi sat up interested in my theory.

"Well think about it. He is an empath. He can feel everyone else's emotions. Which includes bloodlust. Plus I was Edward's singer, so his was very strong. So that plus the rest of the families on top of his own…." Then it hit me again, even more than before, that sensation where it felt like my heart was in a vice grip. Unconsciously I put my hand to my unbeating heart.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Heidi asked concern, as I should not have any chest pains since I am a vampire.

"I don't know. It feels like my heart is being squeezed tighter and tighter. This isn't the first time I have felt this."

Heidi smiled at me knowingly and slightly smugly. "It is the pull from your mate dorkus! I feel it with Felix and he feels it with me. We feel it when we are angry at each other. When the other is hurt emotionally or physically. And when we are apart."

I always felt bad having Heidi leave Felix, her mate and fellow guard member, to come with me when I leave Volterra. She and Felix finally gave into the pull. They always fought it because the other "annoyed" them. I told her I could get someone else to join me but she always waved me off telling me that I "better not find a new partner in crime. She enjoys being away from Volterra and Jane and it makes her reunion with Felix so much better" she would then give me that smile that would make me roll my eyes. I did not need all the information of her private life with him.

And speak of the devil! Felix sauntered out of our bathroom at that moment, fresh from the shower in nothing but a towel. That's when I noticed the lingering scent of sex in the air.

_How the hell did I miss that when I walked in?_

I rolled my eyes, "Felix as happy as I am to see you, please put some clothes on!"

He chuckled, "I will, once you see the surprise in your room."

Curious, I headed back to my room and opened the door to Demetri lounging on my bed reading my tattered copy of "Utopia". I squealed and in a flash I was on the bed straddling him. He put the book down and smiles at me.

"Hello gorgeous"

"Hello to you too! What are you doing here? You didn't travel all this way for a quickie?" I winked

He laughed, "As much as I missed you, sadly no, I am here actually to trade places with Heidi. Aro needs her back in Italy" my face fell a bit at the news that Heidi was leaving, I was sad she had to go as we had so many plans to cause mischief. But I was very happy with my new partner. I smiled back down at the sexy guy I was on top of. I have been so frustrated and with everything that has happened today I just needed a release and Demetri knew exactly how to help

"Heidi has already filled me in on your plans to annoy the students in your class and that the Cullen's are also here. You okay with that?" he asked getting serious for a minute.

"Yes, I ended up seeing all of them earlier. It was nice to finally get everything pretty much out in the open and cleared up"

"I wished you had told me about Jasper"

"What would I say? 'Oh hey, the sex we just had was great and by the way I've been emailing Jasper from the Cullen family that threw me away like trash for x amount of years?' "

"You've missed them. I know it and it seemed like him especially" He had pulled me down so we were laying my head resting on his chest. He was running his fingers through my hair, which he knew I love.

I hummed in content and he kissed the top of my head. I tilted my head up and captured his lips. We took it slow, caressing, kissing, and sighing at the need for each other touch. He knew I needed comforting after the crazy evening I had.

Demetri and I slowly undressed each other, exploring the familiar planes of each others exposed skin. He rolled us to my on top and took my newly released breast into his mouth while his hand massaged the other. My back arched up with his cool breath and flick of his tongue on my raised peeks. I could feel myself already close just at these touches.

He removed his mouth with a smile at my reaction and whispered, "Not yet" as his hand skimmed down my naked torso to the top of my jeans. In one fluid motion my jeans and panties were removed and his fingered teased my already wet folds. He massaged my clit and plunged two fingers in me and slowly pumped them in and out as his mouth followed the previous path of his hand. But instead of ending where his hand did, his mouth went off, just to the right side of my hot center, kissing and lightly nipping my inner thigh.

I whimpered at the sensation of wanted his mouth to join his wonderfully skilled fingers. My hands curled into his hair as his mouth made contact with my heated core and began to devour my taste, my hips began to buck under him as they closeness of my orgasm neared. Again he stopped just short of the moment.

"Ass" I quietly laughed playfully. But before I knew it he was back on top of me. Chest to chest, center to center, His eyes dark with lust as he entered me slowly. My eyes rolled back at the feeling of him filling me.

"Shit Isabella, You always are so damn good, always so wet and tight, your walls clenching around me when you get close. It's enough to drive a vampire to insanity" Demetri growled.

My hips rose to meet his as we found our familiar rhythm, his pumps increased in speed and intensity without being wild as both of our needs to release increased.

We both went over the edge together and we lay together afterwards, still wrapped around each other as we both enjoyed coming back down from our highs. I was snuggled into his side. My head resting on his chest with his arm around me, his fingers skimming back and forth on my arm.

As happy as I was to finally get some satisfaction, I couldn't help but feel guilty for having sex with Demetri. It was like I cheated but I didn't have anyone to cheat on

I pushed the thought out of my mind and sighed as I tried to cuddle into him more. We laid there for a few hours, no longer hearing Heidi and Felix.

_They must have left early to give us some alone time_

I finally caught a whiff of myself, sex and Demetri, and laughed "I should grab a shower I only have one class today, Interpreting Lit, at 11:30 then I'm free all day for you." I got out of bed and padded to the bathroom and saw Heidi's note.

My sweet,

I'm sorry I have to go back to Volterra

but Aro needs me for a few weeks. I'll be

back before you know it. Have fun with

Demetri ;)

Heidi

I smiled and stepped into the steaming shower. I closed my eyes and let the water relax me. I would have kept them closed but the sound of my curtain moving had me open one eye to look at Demetri step into the shower to join me in all his naked glory. I smiled a wicked smile and jumped on him, wrapping my legs around his waist as he pushed me against the wall to enter me again, this time going hard and fast.

I finally worked my strawberry scented shampoo through my hair and rinsed it out. Grabbing my body wash I quickly washed the rest of me and stepped out to let Demetri have some time to wash himself, although I would have been more than happy to help him.

Then it hit again, the guilt someone would feel cheating on either significant other but this time it was coupled with the sensation Heidi explained to be the pull from my mate. I looked at the wall that separated my room from my bathroom, as if I was able to look through it to see Demetri. He wasn't my mate; I knew that for sure as we would have discovered it long ago.

Since I still had about 5 or 6 hours until class I just threw on a pair of short cotton shorts and Demetri button up, I love the way he smells. He smells like Christmas. I smiled as his scent surrounded me and buttoned the last few buttons, stopping at the one just at my breasts, when I heard a knock at my door.

_Who the hell could that be at this hour? _

I opened the door to Jasper standing in my hallway. He took in my appearance and the scent that clung to me that wasn't mine.

I was about to ask him what he wanted and that my appearance wasn't what he thought, even though it probably was, when the other occupant I forgot about addressed me.

"Baby, as much as I love seeing you in my shirt, I need it back." Demetri growled playfully. I turned to see he was fresh out of the shower, in only a towel, de ja vu (AN: spelling? Did not take French so…) another hot vampire wearing only a towel in my place.

_SHIT! _

I turned back to Jasper to explain.

_But why do I need to explain anything to Jasper? Its not like we are…._

My thoughts were cut off by the sensation and the realization

_Jasper is my mate_

But he was gone


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

**AN: So I wanted to add a little bit of Jasper before picking back up. I struggled a bit with it and I don't think it's exactly what I was hoping for but I really wanted it in here. I typed it on my ipad because google drive has been uncooperative today so please forgive the mistakes. Enjoy and don't forget to review :D**

Chapter 10

JPOV

_As I sat next to Isabella while she told everyone what happened the feeling came back. I looked at her and the vice grip feeling tightened even more. But it wasn't in pain, I couldn't describe the feeling it gave me. _

_I still can't believe that Edward had lied to us about their break up. It made me want to rip his arms off. When she left saying she'd see me in Bio if not sooner, I really hoped it was sooner rather than later. And the vice grip was now painful. I rubbed my hand over my chest to try to sooth the pain as I headed up to my study._

"_Vice grip?" Rose asked me at the top of the stairs_

"_Yea. It didn't hurt when Isabella was here but the grip was noticeable but now that she's gone it hurts."_

"_You are an idiot Jasper Whitlock!"_

"_What?"_

"_Did you already forget what we talked about?"_

"_She can't be my mate, can she? We have spent time together. Why hasn't it... clicked?"_

"_She may not understand what it is. I don't know who she is around that is mated. Or she may have never had the feeling explained."_

_"I need to go" and I ran out the door._

_I reached the edge of the woods Isabella's apartment in under 5 minutes. I stopped and started to pace. _

_What do I say to her? "Hey Isabella, I know we have just seen each other for the first time since you thought I wanted to kill you but I think we are mates." Yeah that would go over well. But what did I really have to lose? Either we were and that would be great because I feel like we have gotten so close, or we aren't and we can just stay the close friends we have become._

_I pace for about 10 more minutes trying to get what I want to say right so I don't mess it up either way and walk on up to her floor_

_Ok it's now or never._

_I knock and she opens the door a minute later in what looks like nothing but a mans button up. She had recently showered but I could still smell the other man on her and the hint of sex lingering in the air. _

_She opened her mouth to say something when Demetri walked into the living room in nothing but a towel _

"_Baby, as much as I love seeing you in my shirt, I need it back." Demetri growled playfully. _

_My heart would have shattered if it could and I took off back to the house. I raced up to my study ignoring the voices calling my name, I must have been projecting my pain, and slammed the door and locked it. _

_I guess I did have a lot to lose._

BPOV

I was about to go after him when I realized I could go out in what I was wearing or lack there of.

"SHIT!" I yelled slamming the door. "SHIT, SHIT FUCK DAMN SHIT!"

"Whoa there sailor! What's wrong?"

"I just ripped the heart out of my mate"

"You mated? When? Who?" Demetri was so happy when he heard the word mate, I don't think he heard the rest. He reminded me a lot of Emmett in regards to that.

"I just realized it now but I think I have known for sometime and its Jasper Whitlock, from the Cullen family. _SHIT! _I was still screaming in my mind

"Oh. OHHHHHHHHHHH" he finally realized why I was so pissed off. "You need to go tell him and explain to him that what we have, well had, was merely friends with benefits that would cease once one of us mated!"

"I can't!" I whined. "The look of hurt in his eyes, I just… it hurt me so much too." I felt my heart in the vice grip again. "SHIT! I don't want to feel like this! I don't want to get hurt again. I can't handle it" I curled into myself as I slid down the door

"You won't! That's the thing with mates you cant hurt one another..."

"Then what do you call what just happened?!" I screamed at him. "Did you not see or feel the pain coming off of him?"

"That's because neither of you had acknowledged it. Now that you have you won't be able to sleep with me again, or hurt him." Demetri said looking sad at the loss of what we had. We may not have been mates but we were happy with each other. I was sad too because Demetri was pretty damn fabulous between the sheets, and in the shower…. and on the couch…. and well, you get the point.

I dashed to my room to actually get dressed I pulled on my boots and coat but I planned to stick to the woods so I could run but you never can be too careful.

"I'm going to the Cullen's," I yelled to Demetri as I rushed out the door.

"I'm coming with you," he said but I didn't wait for him.

We made it to the Cullen's in 10 minutes. I knocked on the door and waited, no one answered, but I knew they were there.

"Carlisle? Esme? Jasper?" I knocked again, "Please" I begged.

I stepped back as the door was opened by Rose, and if looks could kill… I'd be dead…again.

"Rose, please is Jasper here?" I knew he was, I could feel the pull. But I had to ask.

"Why should I let you in to see him?" she growled.

"Be careful with your tone girl. Pissing off Volturri guards is not a smart idea," Demetri threatened

"Demetri, there is no need for that. But he is right Rose, its never good to anger one of us. Please let me see him," I looked at her begging to see my mate. Then her expression changed, it softened, to show that she knew he and I were mates.

"He's in his study" She whispered and stepped aside. I dashed up the stairs, following his scent.

Demetri stayed downstairs with Rose and I could hear her move him to the living room with some of the other family members.

I knocked softly on Jasper's door when I reached it, but I didn't wait for him to respond to enter after having to pick the lock open.

"Jasper?" I barely whispered for him to hear. I found him in a club chair looking out of the plate glass windows that went floor to ceiling. The pain and sadness radiating off of him hurt me so much it was almost excruciating to walk across the room to him.

I finally came around the chair and kneeled in front of him, "Jasper, please look at me" I pleaded but he still stared out the window

"Jasper, I'm sorry. You never should have seen that. I did mean for you to"

Scoffing at my apology, "Right like you care at what I am meant to see. You obviously haven't cared one damn bit for the last 100. Why should you now? What was I expecting anyways? For you to be there alone?"

"Jasper" I said more harshly, grabbing his face, forcing him to look at me. "If I had realized sooner that you are my mate. That this pull I have been feeling was towards you, I never would have slept with Demetri tonight. And I never will be again."

His eyes looked up away from me.

"Damn it Jazz! I know you feel the mate pull like I do!"

He didn't say anything so I continued. "I'm sorry it took me so goddamn long to realize it was you. I was so hurt and afraid of being abandoned again, I haven't opened up to anyone, not even Demetri"

"Yet you still slept with him, and from my guess numerous times" Jasper spat

"Please Jasper. I'm sorry. Yes Demetri and I were in a relationship. But it is over now. Please tell me you feel this pull too. The squeezing, constricting around your heart."

Nothing

My voice dropped, "Or am I wrong… as I always seem to be, having feelings for someone that doesn't return them. I guess I shouldn't be surprised" I bit my lip waiting for him to say that he too felt what I felt.

"For the love of God Jasper please say something!" my voice was raspy from my cries. I was up on my feet now, turning away to muster up the dignity I had left before I grabbed Demetri to leave. But before I could fully turn away from him, Jasper was in front of me and his lips crashed to mine.

As soon as they touched I felt something sizzle through my body. His hands cupped my face in fear of me letting go, but my hands entwined in his blonde locks to hold him to me. We finally released the kiss but kept our foreheads touching looking into each other's eyes.

"I knew…. Well I didn't know it was you but the pull, I too have felt it and feel it now." He said breathlessly

"I'm so sorry Jasper for what you had to see back at my place. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" I sobbed.

"Shhhh. Don't apologizes. I should have realized you haven acknowledge it yet, I only just had… thanks to Rose."

"No wonder Rose was giving me the death glare"

"Hmmmm" he hummed as he buried his face in my neck and hair taking in my scent he sat us down in his chair and we snuggled.

Sighing after kissing and snuggling, I pull back, "We should go downstairs."

I took the hand he offered me and we went down to the living room where everyone but Edward, was there, a little tense.

I noticed the time on the clock when Emmett said oh so tactfully,

"About time you two joined us" we had been up in Jasper's room for 3 hours! It was just after 9am, I bit my lip and if I could blush I'm sure I would have been red as a tomato.

Jasper took the overstuffed armchair and pulled me onto his lap as he sat. Everyone was looking at us smiling. It made me uncomfortable, "What?" I asked nervously

"We are just happy that you two are happy. You both deserve your mate as they are such a wonderful source of joy" Esme beamed at us, placing a hand on Carlisle's arm.

"Why didn't we realize it sooner?" Jasper asked Carlisle. "We did spend some time together before"

"I'm not quite sure son. Possibly because you both were in relationships that made you happy. Or maybe it wasn't as strong because Isabella was human."

"Or…." I piped in deciding it was time for them to know more about my ability. "Maybe because of my shield"

"Shield" they all, minus Jasper, inquired at the same time.

I laughed at their synchronized question. "Yes I have a shield. It explains why Edward could never hear me and neither can Aro. Jane and Alec do not affect me either. If I concentrate and have my shield up, it will mask my scent and emotions and probably my decisions. Jasper I can block unless we are making some sort of contact unless my shield is up before we make it."

"Amazing" Carlisle, mused. "I always knew you would be an extraordinary vampire" Turning to Demetri, "Demetri what brings you out of Volterra? I haven't seen you in some time. I am a bit surprised to see you especially since Isabella mentioned Heidi was with her."

"She was but Aro needed her back in Italy, so I volunteered to take her place. Aro doesn't like her being out alone…"

"And it was part of my agreement with him as well" I chimed in to cut him off.

"Yes, it was. Plus I really missed her, we have become close friend over the last 120 years."

"So Demetri is one of your friends you would mention in your letters?" Jasper asked me.

"Yes. Heidi Demetri, Felix and I have become very good friends over the years. Plus once Felix and Heidi stopped fighting the mate pull Demetri and I needed some way to get away from them. I swear some days they are worse than you, Emmett and Rose," I laughed.

"HA!" Emmett laughed with me. "I doubt it" He grinned but it was wiped off his face quickly as Rose smacked him in the back of his head.

A car pulled up and the front door opened and closed as Edward entered the house.

He paused in the archway looking at us confused. My shield was up but I must have been projecting causing Edwards mind to be voided of everyone's thoughts.

"What's going on?" then he saw me on Jasper's lap, us smiling at each other. And as Jasper and I share a quick kiss, things when down the toilet again.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

**AN: **Bonus chapter for today :)

Chapter 10

_Previously_

"_What's going on?" then he saw me on Jaspers lap, us smiling at each other. And as Jasper and I share a quick kiss, things when down the toilet again._

"_WHAT THE FUCK?"_

"Edward, language!" Esme scolded.

A growl rippled through Jasper as his arms tightened around me protectively. I put my hand on his cheek to calm him down. He stopped growling but still stared daggers at Edward.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward demanded like he owned me.

"Its Isabella and I have sitting on Jasper's lap, clearly" I rolled my eyes

"Get off his lap this instant! He tried to kill you before what makes you think he won't rip you to shreds now?" he growled again

I gave him an incredulous look. _Is he serious?_

"First off Edward," I said slowly leaving Jaspers lap, not because I was "ordered" to but to show him I have power over him and that I was not some weak human he could control. "You have no right whatsoever to give me orders. Didn't we go over that last night? I only take orders from Aro, Marcus, and Caius, but they know better not to do it too often.

"Secondly," I had him against the wall, "Jasper never tried to kill me. At that disastrous party you and Alice forced on me. YOU shoved me back onto the glass table. YOU were the one with the bloodlust issue with my blood and Jasper had an issue with everyone else's bloodlust all at once when I cut myself because again, YOU shoved me onto the table, he did NOT have a problem with HIS OWN bloodlust. HE was trying to save and protect me.

"And lastly,' I growled menacingly, "If you ever growl at my mate again... There. Will. Be. Consequences"

"Is that a threat?" His voice shook as he tried to keep it even

"No, it is a fact. Remember Edward, I am not the weak human you controlled and then threw away. I am a Volturri guard member and Aro does think very highly of me and will be upset at anyone that decides to mess with me"

"This may be enough to, when he sees this" Demetri said

"And wait, back up. Mate? How is Jasper your mate?" Edward asked. "Bel... Isabella, love. I love you we are mates."

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked surprisingly

"Isabella" Esme scolded on the side quietly

"Of course I'm serious love" Edward answered me

"I… I am speechless at your stupidity!" With my loss for words I took my spot back on Jasper's lap and he pulled me tight to him. "I truly am speechless. How can you honestly think and say that we are mates. And after the way you dumped me in the woods, did you really think I'd still love you?"

"I did it to keep you safe and so you could have a normal life!"

"Well for once you were shit wrong there golden boy!"

"ISABELLA!" Esme scolded me more harshly this time

"Sorry" I mumbled my apology for my language. "I was in more danger after you left. Did you really think Victoria was going to forget about the whole James thing? Plus I was never normal to begin with!"

"I should never have left you, but you were gone by the time I realized it and Charlie wouldn't tell me where you were" Edward tried to apologize.

"Why would he have? After all the crap you put not just me through but put Charlie through as well? But I guess I can't be too mad at you…" his face began to light up, "Since all of this finally brought me to Jasper." I smiled at my mate

"No!"

I growled getting frustrated with his crap. "Isabella… relax." Demetri tried to calm me before I did something. I gulped in some air when my phone went off. Looking at it I saw it was my reminder for class.

"I need to go. I have class," I said flatly. Demetri pulled out his car keys for his rental.

_He must have gone back to get it while I was in Jasper's study._

He headed out first and Jasper walked me out and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry he can't get it through his thick head that we have mated. Maybe Em and Carlisle can talk to him since they have been mated for so long, and explain everything to him."

I nodded my head. "Will you come over later?" I muttered into his chest.

"Of course. When do you want me?"

"Forever, always." I smiled. "Class will be out by 2. So anytime after that"

He placed his finger under my chin to raise my gaze to his, "I will be there" He kissed me goodbye and I climbed into the car.

"I thought class was over at 1." Demetri inquired

I sighed. "It is but I need to call Aro to let him know everything that has happened".

"You know he is going to ask for the mind reader and fortuneteller and if he listened to Heidi, possibly the empath too." Demetri said knowing that part of my agreement with Aro.

"I know. Edward may go more easily than before now that I am a member and because it seems that he will not give up on getting me back. Alice will be tough because of Tony. But I still have not figured out if he has any special abilities"

"And Jasper?"

I sighed an even bigger sigh than before, I was almost exhausted from the last 2 days. "Maybe if I can get him Edward and Alice he would be willing to let me be with Jasper and relieve me of my duty. He is my mate, and Aro isn't cruel enough to keep mates apart, he does understand the pull."

"What about…"

"NEVER! I will not make him a monster! He has been through enough of that when he was first turned. I will not force him to Volterra. I don't even want him to volunteer"

"Well, we will just have to wait and see what Aro says then I guess" Demetri said quietly after my outburst.


	12. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Chapter 11

I entered my apartment earlier than I had expected, gotta love 1st day of class, and dropped my bag by the door. I had the place to myself as Demetri had headed out for some hunting.

I sighed as I booted up my computer, not looking forward to my talk with Aro. Once everything was up, I called him on Skype.

"Ah, hello my dearest Isabella" Aro greeted me

""Hello Aro"

"How are we doing dear?"

"Fine. We need to talk, but I do not have very much time, I will be having a visitor arrive in about an hour." I grimaced slightly

"Yes. Heidi arrived a few hours ago. It seems as though you have some explaining to do"

"I sure do." I went on through everything with Aro. How I had been in contact with Jasper which is how I knew where the Cullens would be and was able to keep track of them over the years, how we have discovered Jasper and I are mates and the new addition to the coven.

"I have only seen him twice and both times I wasn't able to determine if he has any special talents. We may need Chelsea to encounter him if it is something that is discreet."

Aro had been quiet the whole time, slowly nodding his head as he listened and processed everything. "Well my dearest." He said after a long pause, "as displeased as I am about the secret you kept of your contact with Mr. Whitlock, I am very happy that you have found him to be your mate. You deserve the happiness, everlasting love and companionship they bring. But we will have to discuss what this means in regards to your obligations in Volterra."

I cast my eyes down, "Yes sir"

"With everything else, you know what to do and you know what I desire, it is why I sent you there in the first place. I have wanted them for too long, my patience with them is running out. Leave them be for now and enjoy having your old family back, as I know you have missed them greatly over the years. I will let you know when it is time and when I do, use EVERYTHING you can to persuade them before you decide force is needed.

"I do still think very highly of Carlisle, so information is good for now but when I say you must do what you can, you must. I will let you go now my dearest. Tell Carlisle I say hello"

"I shall sir. And thank you for being for so forgiving. You really are quite understanding"

He smiled at me, "Just don't let the others know, they will think I have gone soft"

"I will not. Have a pleasant evening"

"You as well Isabella"

I closed down my laptop and opened my bedroom door to tidy up before Jasper got here, as he was due to arrive in 10 minutes. But to my surprise he was already here, outside my bedroom door.

"Hey! You're early" I tried to greet him as cheerfully as I could because the look on his face, a mix of anger and sadness, it scared me.

"…How long…. How much did you hear?" I sighed as I turned to head to my bed to sit on it. Jasper did not follow.

"What do you know you have to do?" he asked flatly

"Shit, Jasper please" I tried to reason and calm him

"What is it?" he demanded

"Jasp…"

"Damn it Isabella!" his fist slammed into my doorframe, splintering it. "Just tell me"

"FUCK! I gather information on vampires in the area for the Volturri…"

"Go on. I know there is more"

"The information is used to help us keep tabs on the nomads and those who have settled, those who Aro think may pose a threat, sometimes its used to find new members Aro wants to add to the guard. Its part of my agreement with Aro so I can leave Volterra"

"So since you knew we would be here and probably still pissed off at us, you came to Massachusetts to spy on my family? Is this why you kept contacting me? You did say you almost didn't. So you used me as a way to keep tabs on us."

"No! Yes…partially" my head fell into my hands. "Aro is always keeping tabs on the Cullen's and the Denali's because your covens are so big. He is scared of that. But I came to see you Jasper. I have wanted to see you for so long, but I was scare to get hurt again. I let you feel the pain I felt when you all abandoned me. I can't go through that again but every time I saw a new email from you I felt this pull but I didn't know what I meant then.

"So I told Aro I wanted to come here and he happily agreed. But before I left he reminded me what I had to do or I would be forced to come back and not leave… again." So I fibbed a little, I didn't ask to come, Aro sent me but I was happy to finally see Jasper.

"How can I believe you that your reason was truly to come see me? You have had plenty of chances, when I wasn't with the family, to see me if you wanted to so badly. Is everything from the last 100 years a lie?"

"No." my voice was thick and raspy at the accusation, "I may have not told you much about me over the last 100 years but...!" He scoffed at me, laughing sarcastically for a second.

"Jasper please. Even though I do not regent my decision to go to the Volturri I could never bring myself to tell you everything, telling about the monster I have become, God how disappointed the family and you would be in me." I got off my bed and walked over to him and took his face in my hands

"Who does he, Aro, want?" Jasper finally whispered looking at me completely void of emotion.

"The same two he has been coveting since before I met all of you, Edward and Alice. And he wants information on Tony. Neither Aro nor anyone else is familiar with him. I can tell Aro that Tony would be no help to us, and he may let Alice stay with the Cullen's, if Aro decides to pursue her. Aro does understand the whole mate thing and does not force them apart. Despite beliefs, Aro is not that cruel."

"He will see this" Jasper said as he started to calm back down.

"No he won't! Don't you listen?" I smiled "Aro can not hear me. He will take my word as he thinks very highly of me and trusts me." Jasper took my face in his hands and rested his forehead on mine; he was quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry I lost it, I should have listened and trusted you. I just… I don't know what I would do or if I could survive being lied to again. Alice lied for many years about us. But" He smiled happily before continuing, "you are my true mate, I can't stay mad at you darlin'. Please forgive me!" His gaze shifted to my door for a moment "… I'll get your door fixed" if he could blush, he'd be bright red.

I pulled away smiling and took his hand and led him to my bed where we laid together, holding each other, just talking together. I sighed, "… so many times, Jasper"

"So many times, what my darlin?"

"There were so many times I wanted to come find you"

"Why didn't you?" He propped himself up on his elbow looking down at me

"I was scared. I was hurt more by the families leave with no goodbye than Edwards oh so brilliant break up. For once with the family I could be Bella the teenager, not Bella the one who made sure bills were paid and the cupboards stocked. Besides, like I said before, what would you have thought of me if I came to find you right away after your first email? I was afraid you'd be repulsed and would not want to see me ever again, the way that I am."

"Oh Bella," Jasper quietly chuckled, "Who am I to judge? I told you my past with Maria and the southern wars. Bella, I will love you always, red eyes and all!"

Surprised, I sat up a bit, "You love me?"

"Very much so. I have always felt a love for you since I first met you. Back then, you were this human with so much love for all of us and happiness and acceptance, how could I not? Over the years, through our emails, my love for you has grown. Even though we haven't seen each other since your birthday, our emails made us close. It was like we had been actually together. I could almost feel your emotions, your happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness, and frustration.

"You don't have to say it back now. I will not pressure you. I know you are being cautious and I don't blame you. You loved Edward unconditionally and well… we know what happened. I understand." Jasper finished by kissing my lips lightly.

I smiled. My eyes brimmed with venomous tears that would never fall, all I could do was nod and we laid back down, my head rested back on his chest.

After a few minutes of quiet full of happiness Jasper asked, "So is it true what you said about you and Heidi?"

I laughed, "Actually yes. Heidi and I had a very open and comfortable relationship that would range anywhere from friends to well… lovers. However we have not been intimate since her and Felix finally gave into their mate pull. But we still have some major cuddle time."

His face was priceless. He had the face of every male that wants to see two hot women together. I shook my head and laughed harder. "What? So I got a little curious! I was never intimate with Edward. Demetri thankfully made sure I didn't change a virgin" I looked down with that statement but Jasper put his finger under my chin to bring my eyes back up to his.

"I don't care that you and Demetri had a relationship. I'm glad someone was able to give you something that you wanted that Edward would not. And I'm glad you had himso you were not alone."

I nodded my head, "So after some time with Demetri, Heidi and I fooled around. It was quite fun. I kind of miss it" I mused and laughed when I remembered her suggestion from yesterday.

"Hmmmm?" Jasper inquired.

"Oh I told her about Emmett and Edwards reaction when I told you all about us and she started scheming some fun we could have with it." I grinned wickedly

Jasper shook his head with a smile. "Edward "The Prude" poor virgin eyes would probably melt out of their sockets if he saw such a thing. Emmett would stare with his mouth wide open until Rose smacks him hard enough."

"I can't believe he is still a virgin"

"Well as far as I know he is"

We laughed hysterically at what each family member reaction would be if they saw Heidi and I together, we completely missed Demetri come into the apart and lean against my broken door.

"Did I miss a good joke, love birds?" Jasper tensed as the new male presence but I spoke up,

"Oh just laughing at a certain vampires reaction if he saw Heidi and I be more than friendly to each other"

"HA! I wish Heidi could have stayed, that would be fun to watch. I would need some popcorn."

I threw a pillow at him, "You don't eat human food moron unless you are dared!"

"Yea yea yea… B.T.W," God I hated when he did that, "Jane still can't find her right pinkie finger." he said as he wiggled his.

"You mean she found the rest of herself already" I asked disappointedly

"Just before Felix and I left. She is royally pissed off at you"

I shrugged, "Oh well, she can't hurt me, physically or mentally!"

"Where is it?" he asked as he moved to my dresser.

"What?" I asked innocently as he started going through my drawers

"Your devil horns are peeking out from under your fake halo there Isabella"

"So I may have kept a souvenir. But you will never find it, so stop going through my undies you perv!"

Demetri giggled evilly as he closed my dresser drawer, "You should give it back, Aro may actually reprimand you for this. Jane is his special little child"

I scoffed, "HA, hardly! No silly Demetri, he won't, Jane had been getting on his nerves too, so…." I said knowingly

"He didn't!" Demetri was honestly shocked that Aro would request something like that to actually happen to his precious Jane.

"He didn't actually say something but he definitely danced around the idea of some punishment"

He sighed, "You should still give it back"

"Like hell! She is lucky I didn't keep her whole arm or her nose. Then she would have truly been a little freak!"

"What did she do?" Jasper asked looking slightly worried.

"I don't know the details but Jane pissed Isabella off one too many times. Be careful man, she may be small and look harmless but she is quite evil." I gave Demetri an angelic smile, which he responded, "HA! You are not fooling anyone! So what are you two up to for the rest of the night?"

"Don't know I need to feed, I'm pretty drained from the last couple days. There was a few muggings in the last week and a frat house is under suspicion for several rapes and assaults." I felt guilty that I was going to go feed on humans. I knew Jasper still had some issues with that since it was his diet for the beginning of his vampire existence.

I continued, "But I can stick close by and hunt some game. That should sedate my thirst."

"Go to the city darlin'" Jasper told

"No, no, no, deer and a bear will be fine." I assured him

"Isabella, with eight vampires in the area that solely feed on animals the deer population will quickly dwindle as is. Plus I don't want you to feel like you have to change your diet for me. Like I said before, I love you red eyes and all."

"Well then, I guess I will head out then. Demetri I know you just fed but accompany me…. please" I almost didn't add the please to my request.

"Of course. I'd be honored to accompany you, your highness" he started to mock me with a bow but I gave him a look to knock it off before Jasper began to ask any questions.

"I think I will head back to the house to see if Edward's thick skull has been able to process any of the last couple days and has accepted that you are my mate" Jasper told me as he put his boots on. Damn he looked hot in his somewhat preppy lumberjack look. I sighed and he gave me a look and a wink as he felt my lust spike up a bit.

I kissed him goodbye and left with Demetri as Jasper headed back home through the woods. I just hope he wouldn't lose a limb if he got into it with Edward.


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight

**AN: Wow! Woke up to 3 more favorite/alerts and another review. So I got my butt out of bed and logged in to post another chapter. Might get another one out this afternoon/evening but I need to get some work done big time!**

Chapter 12

EPOV

I sat on my couch staring at my CD collection. Actually I was staring at one CD in particular, a copy of the CD I made for Bella all those years ago. DAMN IT how did this happen? I don't know what Bella is thinking, saying that she and Jasper are mates. She is NOT his, she is MINE!

DAMN IT I still love her and I left her to protect her, shit that was stupid. I need her in my arms again. The last 120 years have been torture. Everywhere we went I saw her or heard her laugh. But when I saw the person she looked nothing like my Bella.

But now she is back with us. I couldn't believe it when the stranger in our living room with the red hair and green eyes revealed herself to us that she is my Bella. But how can she live that diet? I groaned as the questions began to pile on top of one another. How could she willingly join the Volturri?

"This is all my fault," I muttered to myself

"I unfortunately have to agree with you on this one son." Carlisle said at my open door.

"Please come in dad." I invited him in. He sat in one of the club chairs opposite of me and looked at me intently.

"Are they actually mates?"

"Yes Edward, I believe they are. I heard Rose and Jasper speaking the other day about the pull that mates have towards each other. And the way they look and act around each other, it is similar to how Esme and myself and how Emmett and Rose acted when we first discovered our mates."

"I just… I still love her so much, much more than anything else"

"I know son. But if Isabella and Jasper have mated then she will love him and stay with him. It is incredibly difficult to part from your mate, painful to some depending on how strong their bond is. She may still have feelings for you, I know she didn't show it, with what happened downstairs, but you were her first love and that feeling tends to stay with someone. Mates as much as they have their issues and arguments like any other couple, it is near impossible to hurt them either physically or emotionally."

"I would never…"

Carlisle cut me off. "But you did hurt her Edward, no matter what your intentions were, you hurt her when you decided it was time for us to leave without her. You would not have been able to do that if you were true mates."

"What about what happened on her 18th birthday? When Jasper tried to attack her?" I had to find some hole in this.

"He was fine until she fell onto the table and the cuts were deeper. But I believe his instinct to protect her kicked in and his attack was actually going to be more towards you, honestly. You hurt her and his instincts directed him without him knowing why at the time."

I stayed quiet for a few minutes thinking about what he said. Trying to force myself to believe it.

"Be happy for them son. They are your family. I know it is tough and it hurts now but when you find your mate they will be there to support you with joy that you found someone that will bring you happiness."

I nodded. "Thank you Carlisle. It will just take some time I guess." He got up and placed a hand on my shoulder before exiting my room, leaving me with my thoughts.

_But I have found my mate. It will just take some time to make her realize the mistake she made and come back to me. He is manipulating her feelings, I will save her._

JPOV

I slowed to a walk when I reached the tree line and saw Carlisle sitting on the porch; worry was etched into his face and his emotions he was emanating.

"What's up Carlisle?"

"Just worried about Edward. I spoke with him a few minutes ago and he understands everything but I think he is having a hard time accepting it."

"He truly loved her back in Forks and I don't think he ever stopped after we left."

Carlisle nodded in agreement, "When did you start to feel the pull Jasper?"

I sat down on the porch swing and thought for a minute. "I guess I would have to say on her 18th birthday. I wanted to protect her and rip off Edward's arms off for hurting her. I had no clue what came over me. I knew about mates and the attachment they form after seeing Peter and Charlotte, you and Esme, and Rose and Emmett, but no one has ever explained or described the feeling of it until I spoke with Rose the other day."

He smiled, "That is what I thought but back then I couldn't take any chances incase I was wrong. Especially since we all thought you and Alice were mates. I'm sorry."

"Alice knew we were not mates," I confessed quietly. No one knew but Alice, Isabella, and myself that Alice and I were never actual mates, the family assumed our divorce was because of the events that transpired at the party.

"What? Why would she pretend you were for so long or ever say anything?"

"I don't know. But it is why I left and stayed away for so long. I was in pain. I felt betrayed, betrayed by the first person that was not associated with Maria that I trusted."

"I was never mad at you for leaving son. I only wish you had come back to us sooner. We all missed you." the parent was coming out now in him.

"Me too. Isabella told me I should in several of her letters she sent to me."

"What did you two talk about in your letters, if you don't mind my asking?"

I smiled, remembering the feeling I would get when my email showed that I had a new email from her or when I sat down and poured my current thoughts and feelings into words to send to her. "I don't, I still have them all. We talked about everything. The weather, people we were around. If we were happy or sad. I told her about Peter and Charlotte and what I thought about my current location. She would tell me about classes or work she was doing and interesting shows or books she thought I would enjoy. We both would vent to each other when we were angry, well she vented more than I did."

I paused and thought about how I found the thing that ignited her venting. "Which I finally found out who it was that kept pissing her off," Carlisle asked with a look.

"Jane. I guess she has a way to get under Isabella's skin, that she can't stand Jane and her power apparently does not affect Isabella so that irritates Jane. I guess they had a big argument because Jane just finished putting herself back together sans her pinkie finger which Isabella is holding onto as a souvenir." I smirked at her earlier conversation with Demetri, which of course made me think about hers and mine, about Aro. I grimaced.

"What is it son?" Carlisle asked at my sudden change in emotion

"Just something she and I will have to deal with later. This is something she should tell you all. But I don't think she will"

"I don't think I will be far off if I guess that Aro has a job for her when she leaves Volterra" I nodded at Carlisle's correct assumption. "What is it?" he was worried.

"Not here." I got up and walked to the woods again. When we were out of hearing distance I explained her duty for Aro. "Also I couldn't really tell if Demetri was joking or not. But when they were about to leave to go hunt he bowed and called her your highness. I know she said Aro thinks very highly of her. I don't know. Maybe I am too wrapped up in what I heard. But something about it just doesn't seem right"

"I'm sure it was nothing. Demetri and Isabella have a very close relationship. I'm sure it was just some teasing. But I can see why you are not pleased, it is something the Denali's and I and any other large settled coven fear. Even many nomads fear it, as it is why they move often. As terrible as Aro can seem to be sometimes, he does not force mates to separate. But he does seem to cherish Isabella greatly. It will be very difficult for him to part with her"

We were silent while the question lingered in the air unspoken until Carlisle voiced it.

"Would you?"

I slowly nodded as I answered unconvincingly, "If that's what it takes to be with her, I guess so."


	14. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight

**AN: Big thanks to everyone. Got 7 new followers/alerts today and a big thanks ****NatalieLynn for your reviews!**

Chapter 13

JPOV

My phone buzzed bringing us out of the silence that followed the bomb that is waiting to fall.

"Done already?" I answered

"Oh he made it way to easy! I might have to find a bear or something. It will at least put up a fight." My love's voice sweetly said. I started to walk back with Carlisle who smiled at her comment.

"Darlin' you shouldn't play with your food"

"That's what Demetri just told me," she pouted. "But it was soooo boring! I couldn't really concentrate so it was probably a good thing they didn't fight or run, I may have lost my meal"

I rolled my eyes

"Don't roll your eyes at me Mr. Whitlock!"

"I did no such thing!"

"You did too! I saw you"

Confused, "How…" and there she was, lounging against the last tree on the line.

As she closed her phone she answered, "Like I said, I saw you" she smirked. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist pulling her tight to me and buried my face in her neck and hair and inhaled her sweet scent.

"Hello to you too" she hummed. "And hello Carlisle, how are you tonight?"

"I am fine. How are you doing?"

Pulling away a bit to answer him, "Very good"

"Ridding the world of evil?"

"Haha, yes I guess you could say that" She pulled back some more to take my hand to head back to the house. "So what did I miss?" She asked me.

"Not very much, Carlisle spoke with Edward and Carlisle and I were just having a chat."

"Away from the house in this weather?" she asked suspiciously stopping without me noticing

"We needed some privacy" I stopped walking a few yards away

Her jaw clenched, "You told him?"

"I'm sorry, I did." She sighed, she wasn't happy with my answer from the emotions she was throwing out there. "I'm sorry darlin', but he could tell something was bothering me. I know it wasn't my place to tell." His voice dropped to a whisper since Carlisle had entered the house but with our distance the whisper still wouldn't carry. "But I only told him that you collect information, nothing about Edward, Alice, and Tony."

She was quiet and still for a few minutes. I waited for the fury to hit me and her screaming to start but I felt nothing as she slid her shield up. She finally nodded.

"It would have come out eventually. God, Carlisle must be so disappointed in me. I am glad he does not know the rest."

BPOV

"I am glad he does not know the rest," I finally said.

_Though Jasper doesn't either. What I have to do if Aro desires someone badly enough. The force I am to use. _

We entered to house and joined Em, Rose and Tony in the living room. Rose was flipping through a car magazine while Em and Tony were playing Halo, clearly on opposing teams.

"MOTHA FUCKA!" Em yelled at Tony as he destroyed Tony's character

"Payback is a bitch, bro" Tony replied through gritted teeth.

"No one beats the video-game king! Bow peasant!" Rose rolled her eyes as I laughed. "What? Think you can bring me down baby sis? We can make a little wager!"

"What are the stakes big brother?"

"Hmmmm, If I win you have to fail the semester" I rolled my eyes, big deal…. not!

"And if I win, you have to run all over campus, grounds and buildings, in nothing but a tutu and fairy wings screaming 'I am Tinkerbelle' "

"DEAL!" Oh my brother was an idiot. Tony handed me the controller with an apologetic look that said, "You're doomed"

"First to 50 kills or most kills by time runs out wins" Em declared

"Bring it!" I was red and Em was blue. Right off the bat I killed him.

"First Strike" the game informed, "Red team takes the lead"

Emmett proceeded to get me a couple of times but for every kill he got I doubled or tripled back.

"Game over. Red team wins"

That's my 50 kills to your… 19, dear brother"

He just stood there, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "You…. What... I… oh fuck me!"

"That's your wife's job. And I think tomorrow at 1:30 at the end of common hour would be a great time, don't you think? And don't forget, you have to run at a human pace" I sat back down next to Jasper with a big shit eating grin on my face

Alice and Edward walked in and took a look at my elated face and Emmett's of complete shock.

"I will make sure the camera is charged by Emmett's look. What was the bet and who beat him?"

"I did and he has to run all over campus in only a tutu and fairy wings yelling that he is Tinkerbelle." I told her

"Very nice, he has needed to be knocked down for sometime. Isabella…." Alice hesitated

"Yes?" I asked my old best friend

"Can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure" I followed Alice to her and Tony's room. She closed the door behind us, like that would make any difference. She didn't say anything for a few minutes so I spoke up. "So you wanted to talk?"

"Bel… Isabella, I just want to say I am so, so sorry for leaving you like that back in Forks. If I had seen how hurt you'd be I would not have left. You were and I hope you still will be my best friend. I don't care that you are a guard member or that you feed on humans. I… I just want my best friend back"

I took a breath, "Alice, I appreciate the apology and I do accept it but right now I can only offer a new beginning for a friendship. I can't go right back to us being best friends again like nothing happened. I trusted you and you hurt me, all of you did."

_And it will hurt less for you in the end if it comes to that_

"I will do whatever it takes to win and build your trust back"

I nodded, "Okay. Alice…"

"Yes?" She asked a little more like her usual perky self I remembered

"Have you apologized to Jasper?"

Her face fell a bit, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Have you apologized for lying to him or suddenly divorcing him? Not that I'm not happy you did since we can be together. But it wasn't just me you hurt, but Jasper too."

"But I did. When I gave him the papers…"

"Alice, please, you didn't mean it then. Are you even really sorry for what you did?" I started to think she wasn't

"OF COURSE I AM! How can you think that I'm not"?

"Because of what he told me in his letters. If you truly are then you need to tell him. He loved you unconditionally for what 60, 70 years? Then you just divorce him and tell him you've lied to him the whole time. He hurt for so long. It took so much to convince him to come back to the family. I don't think he had ever planned on coming back if I didn't keep telling him to."

"I… I didn't realize."

"Alice you never do. I'm sorry that I seem like I'm being cruel but I'm not I'm being honest. But sometimes you can be quite selfish, and sometimes take your visions for granted. So as a start down the path of earning my trust back, you can start by truly apologizing to Jasper."

"I will"

"Good" I gave her a hug, "Lets head back downstairs." When we joined everyone else again I plopped myself back on Jaspers lap as Alice danced her way back to the couch behind where Tony was standing with the Guitar hero guitar. Jasper gave me a look asking about what just happened.

I smiled and shook my head, "You'll see later," which he quirked his eyebrow at. "So what did we miss"?

"Well Emmett is all cranky now over you beating him at Halo so he smashed the Xbox so now him and Tony are battling in Guitar Hero and again its not looking good for Em." Rose caught me up

"He seems to forget that I was in a band before a groupie changed me, so I knew all of these songs by heart and probably forwards and backwards. I can even probably play with my eyes closed and still get a perfect score," Tony said

"What band?" I asked

"Oh you never would have heard of us. We were a local band in Trenton and never got our chance to travel."

"Nice, Local bands are better anyways. If they don't travel then don't get all, "Look at me I'm a big time band" then go down the toilet a year later." I said as I picked up Rose's magazine she discarded on the floor and started flipping through it. It was time for a new car, here at least.

"Interested in cars?" She asked

"Kind of. Heidi and Felix educated me a bit and I can fix basic stuff on a car but nothing crazy. But I am due for a new car but I'm not sure what I want"

"What are you driving?"

"In Italy my Porsche 911 turbo that is a prototype. But here I just have a CRV to blend in as a normal student."

"A prototype? I'd love to get my hands on that"

"Yea its not even going to be released, I had it custom made" I pulled out my phone to show her some pictures of it

"Damn! Okay now I really want to get my hands on it that is one fine piece of machinery. So what ever happened to the rust bucket you called a truck?"

"Hey now, be nice to my baby! He is forever parked behind Charlie's old house surrounded by a nice garden."

"How long did it take for it to finally die on you?"

"Don't know. I left for Volterra a week after graduation, and when I went to visit Charlie I always rented a car."

Carlisle had entered the room putting on his coat to leave for the hospital. "You were able to see him?" he asked

"Not for a few years after I left and was turned. I had still emailed him and called after I left. And since my eyes were the easiest to change and keep changed, visiting him was no issue. My thirst was never really an issue. Aro was amazed."

"What do you mean?"

"When I woke up, I didn't notice the burning in my throat. Even after being asked it only felt like a scratchy throat, nothing I couldn't have managed."

"Impressive" Carlisle said. "Well it was very generous of Aro to let you stay in contact with Charlie."

"He trusted me since I came over so willing. And the whole I could change my eye color was helpful. But he knew how much I missed and cared about Charlie."

"How did you discover the appearance changing ability?"

"It was right after talking to Charlie on the phone. It was almost Christmas and I hadn't seen him in 3 years I think at that point. I missed him terribly and all I wanted nothing more than to see him. But with my eyes there was no way I could. Next thing I knew my eyes were back to brown again. They always have the slightest bit of red around the pupils that is only noticeable to vampires or a human that gets right in my face. But they don't.

"So Aro let me go since I could hide my eyes. We got contacts for Heidi and she joined me. It was really nice. We chalked up my absence to not long holiday breaks and expensive airfare that wouldn't be worth the trip with the little amount of time I would have been able to spend with him. And my even more paleness to being cooped in a library all day. It was almost too easy"

"I am so happy you were able to stay in contact with Charlie. I know how much you loved him. Did you get to see Renee at all dear?" Esme asked

"Not as much as I got to see Charlie. I would try to schedule a layover in Jacksonville when it wasn't going to be sunny for a couple days but it wasn't very often. But I did get lucky a few times. But she had Phil and my baby brother Nathan."

"Her and Phil had a little boy? How lovely!"

"He was a cutie. I just hope that Renee was more grounded by the time he was a teenager." I smiled at the blurry memory.

We hung out for the rest of the night talking and watching movies until 9am rolled around when Jasper and I had to leave for class. We walked in hand in hand and I changed my appearance back to what it was on the first day, not like anyone especially my professor would notice, and took my seat while Jasper took the seat Heidi would have occupied.


	15. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Twilight

**AN: Lemon warning :) Big thanks to my lovely readers. Got even more alerts/follows today and of course thanks to NatalieLynn for your continued reviews and a big thank you to Arabella Whitlock for exploding my email inbox with reviews!**

Chapter 14

Weeks seemed to fly by as I spent more time at the Cullen's than at my own apartment. Sometimes Demetri would join, other times he wouldn't. The Cullen's seemed to have relaxed a bit when he was around and strangely… well maybe not so strangely, he and Emmett became pretty good friends.

Edward still brooded but was civil with Jasper and I and seemed to accept that Jasper is my mate. Although every once in a while, when we would just hang out either waiting for Jasper to get back from hunting or class he would try to convince me to take him back, which is where I found myself at the moment.

"Edward, yes I still have some residual feelings for you but they are nothing more than how one feels for their first love. I love Jasper. He is my mate. Please don't make me push you away. I'd like to have some kind of friendship with you."

We were standing in my living room having the same discussion with the same words… again… I think this is the seventh or eighth time. "Why can't you just be happy for me? Jasper is my mate which is suppose to be the best thing in a vampires life! You left me to move on. I have done that. You are too late!"

He sighed, "I'm sorry. But I have missed you so much. I was scared back then that you would get hurt…."

" You were a coward Edward. And I did!"

"Physically hurt. Hurt so bad that I couldn't save you either way."

"Then you should have turned me when I wanted you to! You always did what you thought was best. You didn't care about my opinion. I had loved you so much, yet I was never your equal"

"Bella…"

"Jasper treats me like an equal. We are partners. He will ask my opinion. We talk things through before making a decision. He takes what I have to say in consideration. Why are we doing this again? This is what, the eighth time you have pushed me Edward? Why did you think it would be any different?"

"I don't know. I just can't give up on us. I still love you so much. I know you are with Jasper but…" he stopped and was quiet for a few minutes, he had taken a seat in my recliner. I stayed standing at the sliding door to the small balcony, waiting for Jasper to emerge from the woods. "I guess I will leave you be then"

I looked back at him. He looked so pathetic and defeated. "Can we try to just be friends Edward? I would really like that"

He nodded. "If that is the best I can get. I guess it is better than nothing." He stood, "I should go, Jasper is lingering in the tree line stalling since he knows I'm here."

I walked over to him. "Have a good night. Thank you." I gave him a hug.

He held onto it for a moment longer than I would have liked, "I should be thanking you. I'm going to give Alice a run for her money for best friend. I'm going to fight her for that honor." He chuckled

"That will be fun to watch." I smiled a genuine smile. He let himself out and I walked to the bathroom to check my appearance. I smoothed a few stray hairs down as I heard Jasper unlock the door. I leaned on the doorway to the bathroom and watched him take off his jacket.

"You feeling better?" he asked

"Yes I think I finally got through to him. How was he feeling?" I was worried Edward really wasn't okay.

"Sad but hopeful and some happiness." Jasper hugged me to him but wrinkled his nose and stepped back grimacing and growling a bit. "You smell like him"

"I'm sorry. Why don't I change my shirt then we can get moving? The movie starts in about 30 minutes. He laid down on my bed watching me change my shirt, I would have been blushing, even though we have fooled around a bit, we still haven't had sex which is apparently strange since once mates find each other they tend to… well consummate it.

He has been patient with me and I had planned on rewarding him very soon for it. He told me he loved me weeks ago but I couldn't say it back but he knew how I felt.

I reached for a blue shirt but realized Jasper was wearing blue so since matching would be weird I grabbed an olive green stretchy v-neck t-shirt. I stripped out of my X-men graphic tee (an: hehe to totally have a classic X-men, graphic tshirt it's awesome) and Jasper growled playfully at the sight of my lacy sage green bra.

I smirked, "A picture would last longer"

"Photographic memory darling" he said as he got off the bed and stalked me, staring at me the whole time, it made me conscious of my naked torso, since the bra left pretty much nothing to the imagination, I tried to cover myself best I could.

"Don't," he whispered. He cupped my face with his hands and kisses me lightly. He pushed all of his lust, love and happiness into it. Which we broke away I told him

"I love you Jasper Whitlock"

He smiled and kissed me again more passionately than before. His hands slid down to my neck, then over my shoulders and down my arms, which wrapped around his waist. His hands continued to my naked waist and stopped at my jean clad hips and pulled me closer.

"Jasper" I whimpered as he moved his lips to my ear down and around my jaw and down my neck. He then proceeded to walk us back to the bed and without breaking his lips contact with my skin as he lifted me onto it and lay down next to me.

His hands began to slide back up my body my unneeded breath hitch as it passed by the sides of my laced covered breasts. His lips continued down until his mouth was on my covered chest, teasing my already perk nipples through the thin material.

I moaned as he continues to nip and flick his tongue on the hard pebble as his other hand massaged the breast his mouth was not attending to at the moment. "Damn it Jazz that feels so good, please don't stop"

I disentangled my hands from his hand and brought my hands between us as best as I could to unbutton his shirt. He shrugged it off but instead of lying back down he pulled me up and unclasped my bra. With my naked breasts he went back to assaulting them with his tongue and teeth.

He alternated between both of my breast and sucking and flicking, the tightening in my abdomen began. I moaned as he teased, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed him down onto his back so I straddling him. For a minute I just looked at him. His body… his scars.

I leaned down and kissed a scar on his neck, then one on his collarbone, his pecs, and his stomach. As I continued to kiss random scars, my hands worked on undoing his belt and pants. I kissed one more last scar on his hip and I removed his jeans and boxers

My lust grew at the site of fully naked and fully erect Jasper on my bed. I could help but be a bit nervous. I know we messed around a lot but this was different, this wasn't just sex with Demetri. This wasn't even just sex with Jasper. This was us making love, finally complete our mating tonight.

"Isabella…" Jasper whispered feeling my nerves. So I cut him off with one last kiss on the lips before I moved down to take him in my mouth. I don't think he quite expected it as he pulled in a sharp breath and let it would with a moan as I started to suck.

His hands wrapped themselves in my long locks as I suck and pumped. "Isa… bella…. Fuck, your mouth feels… so God damn good… God damn it" he groaned. I smiled as I felt him throb, his orgasm was growing near and before I realized it I was on my back with him hovering over me, his eyes, bright gold when he walked in where now black orbs of lust.

His hands released themselves from mine and caressed their way down the side of my face, my neck, my breasts, as his lips followed the same path, causing my body to arch up to him. He unsnapped my jeans and pulled them slowly down my legs, slower than human pace, it was torture.

As he disposed of my jeans and my panties, he groaned as the smell of my arousal fully hit him. "Fuck darlin' you smell better every time we are together, will you taste better too?" His hand trailed back up from my foot to the inside of my thighs and his finger slid through my wet folds. He almost lost it when he felt how wet I already was for him. He entered a finger into me and pressed right on my g-spot. I felt my eyes roll back as I all but screamed his name for the world to hear.

His finger slid back and forth, hitting that spot each time. I was pushed over the edge quickly as he added a second finger and increased the speed of his pumps as my juices ran down his fingers.

As I came, his mouth replaced his fingers to lap up every drop then continued to flick his tongue over my clit barely giving me time to come down from my high. I knew his mouth was magic but fuck if I wasn't close to coming again as he sucked, flicked and nipped at my clit.

"So sweet. I don't think I will ever get enough. His tongue continued to slide through my folds. As his tongue found my clit again his fingers entered me again, pumping harder than before. My hips bucked beneath him at the growing tension of a coming orgasm. But his fingers slowed and his mouth moved to the side of my heated center, and kissed the inside of my thigh

I whimpered at the loss, I was so close to coming again, I barely got out the word "tease" I told him

His face was back above mine. "Never would I deny you the pleasure of an orgasm darlin'" he leaned down to kiss me and I could taste myself on his lips. I licked his bottom lip asking for entrance which he granted as he placed his tip near my opening and slowly entered me filling me completely

"Jasp.. I love…" I could barely talk as he pulled almost all the way out just to fill me again. Hips met hip as his pace increased. My hands tangled in his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist afraid to let go. His arms enclosed around me, one around my lower back, the other tangled in my hair holding my face to his, and he pulled me up to a more seated position to look into each other eyes. Our eyes were locked onto each other as we reached our climax I screamed his name as he growled and bit into my neck marking me, "My Bella" and we fell back with him on his back, me laying on top of him.

Our bodies slowed and Jasper pulled me down to snuggle into his side. My head rested in his chest and my fingers caressed the scars on his chest I just explored with my lips. His fingers stroked up and down my arm and back as waves of happiness came off him.

I sighed happily "I love you"

"I know and I'm glad to finally hear you say it. I love you too."

"Hmmm I guess we won't be making that movie now" I laughed

"I'm not sorry"

"Neither am I" I hummed contently

"I definitely agree with that" Jasper hummed in agreement. As he pulled me close showing me he was ready to go again.

I giggled wickedly as I pinned him down and straddled his waist.

I leaned down to capture his lips when the front door to my apartment crashed open.


	16. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

**AN: **_**Bold Italics **_**in this chapter is writing. Here is the next chapter. Lets see who barged in :)**

Chapter 15

_Previously..._

_I giggled wickedly as I pinned him down and straddled his waist. _

_I leaned down to capture his lips when the front door to my apartment crashed open._

"Get your butt out here and give me a hug you whore!" Heidi laughed. I was so startled I got tangled in my sheets and feel out of bed with an "oomph"

"God damn it!" I laughed

"I'm glad to see you haven't lost your clumsy ways my dear" Jasper laughed hysterically, which I could only growl in response.

Knocking on my door, "Get your hot asses dressed and get out here before I come in." Damn Heidi was getting annoying

"Alright, alright we're moving. Jasper help me up" But he just kept laughing as he got dressed before helping me up.

"Hate you" I grumbled at him

"LOVE YOU!" he replied as he slipped out. I quickly got dress and fixed my hair and joined them out in the livingroom

"When did you get in? And why didn't you call me? I asked as we hugged hello.

"What? now that you have a mate I can't surprise you anymore? she said with that glint in her eye and Jaspers eyebrows shot up.

I smacked him on the arm, "could you be anymore like Emmett?"

"I can't help it! I'm a guy!" he said as if that was a valid excuse.

Heidi cosied up to me and placed her hands on my hips. "Well we could..."

"What? Make every males biggest fantasy a reality?" I asked as I pulled her flush to me. We slid a sideways look at Jasper who had the biggest grin on his face. I bit my lip playfully as Heidi leaned in. I turned my eyes back on her.

"Nah" we both said at the same time stepping away from each other.

"That was just... mean. Hot but mean" he said in a slight daze. We rolled our eyes at him.

"So you back for good then? Am I losing Demitri."

"Yes and No, at least not right away. Aro said he could stay until we go back for Spring Break, so the three of us will fly back to Italy, but just you and I will return for classes." Heidi gave me a look that said we needed to talk in private

_This can't be good"_

"well I should make sure none of my undies are missing since I'm sure Demetri had a blast staying in my room! Where is he by the way?"

"Over at the house with my family, probably playing video games with Em and Tony." jasper answered

"Well that explains why he didn't pick me up at the airport!" Heidi started to walk away towards her room. "And Isabella, just give Jane back her damn pinkie to shut her up" she whined

""I am not giving her the satisfaction of me backing down. She knows how to get it back"

"Well if you want to survive Spring Break in Italy, you may want to give it to her then"

"Hmm, that is true. She would make those 10 days quite unbearable... damn" I mused knowing I would have to return it to her.

"So where is it?"

"I'm not saying because you will tell Felix to get it"

"It is in Italy! I knew it!"

"Maybe, maybe not. He better stay out of my room there." I gave her a sly look

"Uhg you drive me crazy sometimes! Come on and catch up with me for a minute. You mind Jasper?"

"No, go ahead ladies" Heidi all but picked me up and carried me to her room as if we couldn't get there fast enough. She closed her door and looked at me but didn't say a word with pity in her eyes.

"What" I mouthed silently

"You have to call Aro, NOW!" she lipped back without a sound as she grabbed a piece of paper

_**Aro needs to speak with you**_

_**about the Cullens. I don't know**_

_**what he wants or who but he **_

_**didn't seem happy**_

_Shit!_

_**You have to call him ASAP!**_

_**I can't with Jasper here**_

_**well you better think of something.**_

I sighed and formed a shaky at best plan. I walked out of her room and back to Jasper. "Hey why don't you and Heidi head over to the house, Heidi really wants to see Demitri but since he didn't pick her up at the airport, I bet he isn't answering his phone either.

"No he isn't I just tried him" heidi reported as she joined us.

"I'll grab a quick shower and then meet you there." I finished

"Why don't we just wait for you?"

Heidi jumped in before I could say something. "Because I miss Demetri and I want to yell at him and make him pay for forgetting about me at the airport. And I have some fashion stuff for Alice that I picked up while I was in Italy. I'd go myself but I don't think your family is as comfortable with me as they are with Demetri" Jasper looked as though he was beginning to cave.

Jasper took a minute, still not fully convinced. "Besides" Heidi continued. "You can help me think of a punishment thats super embarrassing to demetri." She smiled wickedly

"Okay I guess we will see you in a bit darlin'" he said warily,

"I wont be too long. Go and plan with Heidi, I want to be surprised with what you come up with as punishment for Demetri. I hope it's better than what Emmett's was when i kicked his ass at Halo!" I smiled reassuring him

"Oh tell me!" Heidi jumped up and down clapping a bit. Jasper kissed me goodbye and started to hell her about the bet I made with Emmett and how he had to be released from the psych ward at the hospital.

I grinned at the memory for a moment before I scowled at what was waiting for me. I was shaky and nervous as I dialed.

"Isabella" he greeted me but not in his usual cheerful way "I was expecting for you to call me sooner" This was really not going to be good

"I'm sorry Aro. Demetri seemed to have forgotten Heidi was flying in and did not pick her up at the airport and Jasper was here. I had to get them to leave so he wouldn't overhear."

"I understand. Now I understand that you are fully back into the Cullen family. I want you to make sure you have a strong relationship with Edward, so when you return for Spring Break I want him to come with you."

"I don't know if even a friendship he would so easily come with me"

"Isabella. I have heard from Heidi and Demetri how he is still in love with you. He will come with you. But if you feel it may not be as easy as that, then you must make him. By ANY means possible!. I will not pursue Alice as it appears her mate has no gift, so it is very important that I get Edward." His voice softened "I have a feeling you may not be with us for much longer."

"Aro I will be yours until you see fit to end this"

"Yes I know. We will discuss this further when you are here with Edward."

"This is why Demetri is staying with us until Heidi and I return isn't it? Extra muscle."

"yes dear it is. I will call you a few days before you are set to leave to check in. If you need additional help, let me know at that time."

"I will. Thank you Aro. I must go, the Cullens are expecting me." I started to bid farewell

"And Isabella, remember you cannot discuss this with your mate, only Heidi and Demetri can know"

"Yes sir" I ended my call and quickly jumped in the shower and changed my clothes and sprinted to the Cullens before my absence became suspicious. As I ran, I started to think of ways to convince Edward to come with me willingly. I did not want to have to request Felix or heaven forbid Alec to come help. I only had 3 weeks to get this done.


	17. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

**AN: Next chapter is the big one! It's the last one I have typed. I don't have much written after it. I have a little bit of an idea of how I want it to be but I just need to get it down. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 16

"Can vampires get migraines? Because I think I'm getting one" I asked as I rub my temples.

"Don't be silly Isabella" Heidi said from the drivers seat. We had just picked up Alec from the airport and went for a hunt. I have had to hunt more in the last 2 1/2 weeks as I have been blocking most of my emotions from Jasper which has been draining on me but not as bad as my guilt for what was going to happen Wednesday night or the pain that has formed as a vice around my heart since my call with Aro.

"I know this suck B but you have to do this. It's possible this could get you out of the guard and be free with Jasper.

"Yea if he and the family don't hate me. This is going to destroy everything we have built together."

"Just have Jasper join the guard as well, "Alec said bored from the back seat.

I snared at him."Never"

"You may not have a choice" he replied smugly knowing he was getting under my skin

"Shut up midget or do you want to experience the same crap I put your sister through?" He glowered at me but sank back into his seat without another word.

"Isabella, as much as I hate to agree with the half pint, but if Aro won't let you go, you may need to have him come to Italy. You don't have to make him join but an empath in the guard would be helpful and it would make Aro extremely happy."

"I will not force him to join or leave his family to be with me in Italy" the pain spiked in my chest, I wanted to double over from it.

"He may not need to be forced." Heidi said sympathetically

"Uhg I am definitely getting a migraine now. Bad enough I have to have Edward to come to Italy willingly or not, I have to lie and break the trust Jasper has in me. These last 2 1/2 weeks have been excruciating and he knows something is wrong."

"You are a terrible liar you know" Alec piped in. I growled loudly enough to shake the windows of the car and putting a crack in the rear view mirror.

"Relax Isabella. Just enjoy the next couple of days with Jasper and don't think about Wednesday." I nodded and stayed silent the rest of the way to the Cullen's where she dropped me off.

"Keep him out of my room" I warned her as I got out of the car.

I entered the Cullen's home without knocking and followed the majority of voices I heard to the den.

"Hey Belly Bells!" Emmett greeted me with a big hug.

"Hey Emmy Bear" I laughed.

"How was your hunt?" He asked as he sat down, I stayed standing leaning against the door frame.

"Ugh it could have gone better." I sighed

"Did you cover your tracks well?" Carlisle asked behind the charts he brought home with him. Such a father thing to ask.

"I did but I had to clean up someone else's mess." Friggin Alec decided he was bored and had too much fun with his kill.

"Who? Did you recognize the scent?" Carlisle put down his notes. _Crap he can't know Alec is here. They will know something is up. _I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders showing him I didn't know. "Well hopefully they have moved on"

"So Belly! You joining us to hop the border for some moose hunting?" Emmett asked all excited

"Ew Em, Moose? Really? No thanks. I'm going to go find Jasper" I laughed.

"Yea yea. He's in his study." He rolled his eyes. " So what now that you have a mate I'm not good enough lil sis?

"I just want to spend some time with i'm since I probably will be busy in Volterra" I pushed myself off the frame and gave everyone a small finger wave goodbye as I headed up the stairs.

Deep in thought I reverted back to my usual self, not paying attention and crashed into someone and almost fell over but i air of arms stopped me.

"Really Isabella?" he grinned

"I guess I have a lot on my mind. Thank you"

"Your welcome. I've missed catching you when you trip" Edward placed me back on my feet

"Hey! My clumsiness is not entertainment" I tried to look mad but I couldn't help smiling, his crooked smile grew as well. "Edward..." I stopped him from heading to where ever he was going. "Do you still have the music you put on that CD for me back in Forks?"

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"Well, when I found the CD and everything you hide under my floor boards I was still pretty mad at you and I broke it. I never backed it up so I lost all the songs, including the one you wrote for me." I said a little sheepishly

"If you have your iPod I can load it on for you if you'd like?"

"I would really appreciate that Edward!" I smiled and dug out my iPod from my purse and handed it to him. Our hand brushed against each others, our eyes locked but I had to look down embarrassed after a moment.

"I'll get it back to you before you leave" he told me when he recovered from our moment

We parted ways after that and I made my way down the hall to Jasper's study. I knocked once and let myself in and looked at him laying on his couch reading a book I recommended to him recently with a scowl on his face.

"Oh the book can't be that bad! You are only a few chapters in, give it some time." I perched on the arm of the couch and he put the book down still scowling at me. "What's up?" I asked feigning confusion. I knew he heard our exchange a minute ago.

"I should be asking you that question, shouldn't I?" he grouched

"What are you talking about?" keeping up the fake confusion

"Come on darlin'. You've been blocking your emotions for weeks except when we are in bed but even then you are holding back some. You have been acting strange. Hunting more. And I'm sorry but really what was that about just now with Edward? I don't know if I like you being so friendly with him." he answered frustrated

"Jasper, I know the mate thing makes you a lil crazy when I'm around unmated males, but come on. Edward and I are just friends. I don't want any weirdness between myself and any of the family. I love you. Edward is like a brother to me now." I said trying to placate him

"Then why ask for that music again?"

"Because I liked that music. And it was a long time ago but he wrote that song for me. I hate that I don't have it. All of it reminds me of first meeting all of you. I want to try to make those memories come back when I first was part of the family." He didn't really like my answer

"But did you have to ask for the song he wrote?"

"Yes. It was a beautiful piece. It doesn't mean I want to be with him. I just want things okay between us." I pleaded

"He still loves you"

"And I love YOU! And as hot as you being jealous is, there is nothing to be jealous about. I know you are"

"How? You are blocking me." he snapped slightly

I sighed. "Jasper I'm sorry. But I am worried about this upcoming trip home. I'm nervous about going back because I don't know what is going to happen. I haven't brought it up because I don't want you to worry. I'm sorry I haven't talked about it, I'm just nervous."

Jasper sat up on the couch and pulled me onto his lap. "I know. I know you are scared about what may happen with us and your obligations to the guard. I wish you would talk to me about these things. If it comes to it, I will come to Italy and I will..."

I cut him off and stand. "No! Jasper I won't let you. I can't let you"

"Why" he asks as he stands in front of me.

"I don't want you to become like me. I am a monster. How can I say I love you and then have you join the guard? You will be forced to go back to the traditional diet and probably do terrible things because you are bound to them and you have to no questions asked."

"From what you have said and I have seen with you it can't be that terrible"

"I'm an exception Jasper" _Because Chelsea cannot use her relationship manipulation on me. _"You know how Jane was Aro's precious guard member?" He nodded. "Well she hasn't been for 120 years. So before you jump into making a rash decision, let me see what happens. Please."

"Okay darlin'." And with that his lips capture mine.

* * *

Wednesday night came too quick. Jasper and I spent as much time together as possible but now I needed to get him away from the area.

We were walking out late from History, "I should go hunt and finish packing. My flight leaves in a few hours" I told Jasper

"Why don't we hunt some deer together, so we can spend a little more time together. I don't want class to be the last time we have spent together for over a week. I'm going to miss you."

As much as I wanted to go with him him I couldn't. I did want to chance him being around to witness the monster i have become. Him actually seeing it is way different than him just hearing it from me. My plan was all set. All I had to do was send my text. I thought a few days ago I felt like dying but it was nothing compared to the pain that has been crushing me since last night when Aro called to finalize everything.

_Flashback_

"_Bella dear I just wanted to make sure everything is set."_

"_Almost sir... but..."_

"_No buts Isabella. This shouldn't be that hard. He is still in love with you from what I have seen from Heidi and heard from Demetri. Use that to you advantage. Do whatever you have to do." Aro was vehement _

"_Yes sir" I said quietly_

"_I will need you to stay longer to make sure he is settled. I think you being there will make it easier for him." And he disconnected before I could say anything else._

_End Flashback_

"I'm sorry sweetheart I can't. If I am going to survive the long flight I need to hunt. Plus Jane is picking us up and I don't think it would be good for me to rip her head off the minute I see her if I haven't fed recently. Go hang out with Emmett. I think he is feeling a bit neglected. Challenge him to who can find the biggest moose or bear up in Canada. I'm sure he could use a another visit to the police station or psych ward again." I grinned against my aching heart

"I thought we were past this, why are you still blocking me?" He furrowed

"I'm sorry. I'm thirsty and I have been spending all of my free time with this amazing guy I know so I have neglected my hunger. Ps I couldn't add to how much you will miss me with my own. You have no idea how much I will miss you over the next three weeks."

"3 WEEKS? I thought 10 days 14 at most!" he exclaimed

"Aro needs my help with a new member, so he asked me to stay. I'm sorry he just told me the other night." I frowned.

His face fell even more, and my heart cracked more. "Okay" he kissed my lips lightly. "I love you" He kissed me deeper. "Have a good hunt" Bone melting kiss. "Call me while you are gone. Even if it's just for a minute. I don't think I can go 3 weeks without hearing your voice." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with everything he had. I felt all of his love and lust and all I could feel was my heart breaking.

We were outside my building and heard whistling and cat calls from my balcony. We broke apart. "Stupid Demetri" I grumbled as I glared up at him.

"I'll miss you" Jasper whispered in my ear as he held me tight, taking in my scent

"Me too" And we parted ways. I headed into my apartment and headed to my room but halted at my door.

"If you were just straight with him it probably would help your future fair better" Alec said from the living room

"SHUT UP MIDGET" I grabbed my phone from the charger and sent my text.

**MY SWEET**

**WE NEED 2 TALK. **

**MEET ME 5 MILES SOUTH OF YOUR PLACE.**

**DO NOT TELL ANYONE ;)**

**30 MIN.**

**-B**

My phone buzzed a minute later with a reply

**CAN'T WAIT LOVE.**

**SEE YOU SOON**

**-XO EDWARD**

I changed my clothes to a blue blouse leaving enough unbuttoned to show some cleavage without being slutty and a pair of grey slacks. I took a deep breath that resulted in a sigh.

"Lets go" I commanded to Alec and Demetri. They grabbed our cloaks as I led them through the woods to the meeting spot.

**AN: Oh boy. Here we go... Can't wait to read your reviews :D remember I do my own spell check so I may miss a few spelling mistakes**


	18. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight.

**AN: So here it is. Please don't hate me! I don't know if I am 100% happy with how it came out. But I have spent 3 days on typing it and tweaking it. So if it's not where it needs to be by now I don't know if it will ever get there. Enjoy :) and don't forget to review. This is one I really want to hear what you have to think...**

* * *

Chapter 17

EPOV

I read Bella's text and my heart swelled with hope. I quickly squashed it as Jasper walked in looking like someone kicked his dog.

"Has Emmett left yet?" he asked in a low emotionless tone.

"Nope. He and Rose are..." I was cut off my their moans. "...yeah"

"Well I guess I will just wait in my study until they are done."

I was getting worried. Did they have a fight? Did they break up? Woah reign in the hope there, can't let him know. "You okay?"

"Fine" he said shortly

"Okay then. Well I'm heading out. They have been at it for 3 hours. Maybe go for a hunt."

"Not going to Canada later?"

"Nah. Moose isn't my thing. I'll be close by but I gotta get away from those two. Carlisle is refusing to come home from the hospital until Em leaves. I thought you were spending a few more hours with Isabella? It would have saved you from this." I had to find out what happened between them.

"She said she needs to go to the city to hun so her strength is up for the flight and getting back to Italy so she wouldn't rip Jane's head off." He started back up the stairs

"You don't sound convinced."

He stopped at the top of the stairs, "I don't know. She's been acting strange lately. I think she is hiding something from me"

_Yea she still has feelings for me. _"Why do you think that?" I tried to keep my emotions in check.

"She has been keeping her feelings blocked from me for weeks" Jasper said like he was exhausted

"She talks like she absolutely loathes having to be in Volterra. Maybe she isn't looking forward to this trip." It was weak but could be the truth

"Maybe" he turned and walked to his study

"Well I'm out" I said as the moans and grunting increased. "Have a good hunt in Canada... If you ever make it" With that I was out the door to the spot where I was to meet Isabella... My Bella is waiting for me.

The spot we met was a small clearing that reminded me of our meadow back in Forks. _This must mean something if we are meeting at a place like this. _

She was leaning on a tree, partially shadowed by the clouds, but when they cleared and the moon hit her skin, she glowed. She was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I was a fool to let her go before.

She paused before she greeted me. "I'm glad you came to meet me. It was important that we talked." She had a small smile on her face that seemed like it had a hint of sadness to it

"Of course love."

BPOV

It was now or never. The pain I felt was almost unbearable I had to use the tree I was leaning against to hold me up. I said a silent pledge to Jasper of my love to him once more.

"Edward as we have spent more time together I have realized I need you in my life. I... I can't live without you."

"What about Jasper?" He asked

"I have been blocking him to see how I feel without his influence, and I feel nothing." Which is true, any idea of Jasper not being in my life, I will be nothing. I thought Edward leaving me all those years ago was crippling but it's was nothing compared to what was happening now.

I continued, "Edward, I'm sorry. I... I ... You were right. I do still love you." The pain built even more. If an x ray could be taken, I bet it would show my stone heart cracked, about to fall apart.

"Bella... My Bella. I have waited so long for you to say that you still love me." He moved toward me

"As you know I am leaving for Volterra, I want you to come with me. To be there with me. I _need_ you to come with me."

"Oh Bella. You know I love you and will follow you to the ends of the world. I was an idiot for leaving you back in Forks. I never deserved you, I still don't. I am so glad you are giving me a second chance." He moved in to me, placing his hands on my hips. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "Of course I will come with you."

"I had hoped you would say that" I said with a small sad smile as his forehead rested on mine. I wanted to cry and to yell at him to run far away.

Venom tears clouded my eyes, he took them as tears of happiness and closed the distance between our lips as he said, "I love you" and his lips were on mine. His arms wrapped around me and our lips found their sync from long ago. My heart felt as though it shattered and fell apart at that moment.

We pulled away and gazed into each others eyes. He was so happy. So unaware of what was happening. My smile faltered. I straightened and my change in demeanor went unnoticed at first.

"Come we must go." I ordered.

"Can we not stay and enjoy this just a little longer? Besides I need to pack a bag. And I should tell the family I will be leaving for Spring Break"

"You don't need a bag. We already have everything you need there."

"Bella?" he started to question me.

"You can not tell anyone you are coming with me. Edward please do not fight this." Demetri and Alec silently dropped behind him from the tree I was leaning on.

"Fight this? Why would I fight what we have? Are... are we not just going for Spring Break" He finally heard the approaching vampires and turned around to see who it was. His eyes were wide when he saw them.

"He really believed that much easier that you thought Isabella." Alec smirked

"Bella?" Edward asked again uneasy

"You will not be so informal and treat royalty with respect kid." Demetri glared at him. He really was a good bodyguard. "Heidi is waiting for us" Demetri informed me as he handed me my black cloak. I pulled it on and Edward turned back to look at me. I looked away.

"I don't understand." Edward was starting to back away noticing the color difference between my cloak and the others.

"I told you before, Aro thinking very highly of me. Now are you coming with me? Or do I need Alec and Demetri to drag you?"

Edward finally realized his stay in Volterra will not be a short stay and there was no way out. "What was this to you? Was everything you said a lie?"

"Oh Edward, I do want you to come to Volterra with me. I agree with Aro and think you would make a wonderful addition to the guard."

"But do you have any feelings for me? Or did you exploit my love for you?" he questioned angrily

I didn't want to answer him, I looked at Demetri and he grabbed Edward before he could bolt, making this harder than it needed to be.

"Please do not fight us Edward. I do not want to use Alec" I pleaded and Alec gave a small smile. He was itching to take Edward down.

"You didn't answer my question" He replied darkly. "But I will walk on my own"

"Fine. We must hurry." I turned and led the way to the car with Edward behind and Alec and Demetri flanking him.

JPOV

_Christ! No wonder Edward had left._

It's been 10 minutes since Edward left because of Em and Rose and it seems like they are not slowing down. I head out to get away as well.

I was unsure where to go. My mate was gone along with Demetri and Heidi, who I actually enjoy hanging out with, despite them being Volturi guard members. I decided to see if I could pick up Edward's scent to see if he wants to go for a hunt or maybe wants to fight. I had a lot of frustration built up after the last couple weeks. And his closeness to Isabella was a factor in it. Maybe a fight with him would deter him away from spending time with her.

I took off, thinking about Isabella. I knew she was unhappy with having to spend so much time in Volterra and how long we had to be separated but I knew she was hiding something else. And by how much effort she took to do it, I knew it had to be bad.

I slowed down as I approached where Edward was and I knew instantly he was not alone and who he was with. I stopped just where I could hear them, and see them just on the edge of Edward's range, not that I think I needed to as they were very wrapped up in each other.

"...I... I can't live without you." She said

"What about Jasper?" Edward asked. _Yes what about me?_

"I have been blocking him to see how I feel without his influence, and I feel nothing." her voice dropped and I missed some but I got the important bit "I do still love you." I went down on one knee from the pain that suddenly gripped my heart.

Distracted by the pain I missed what Edward said but I heard her asking him to join her in Volterra... to be with her. And of course he agreed.

I placed my hand over my heart and looked up just in time to see them kiss. My stone heart shattered as my biggest fear came true. I backed up to the nearest tree. Could vampires have panic attacks? The anger then began to bubble. I wanted to tear the forest apart

NO...

I wanted to tear his head off, rip him to pieces and yell and scream at her "what about us". I told her everything. I let her feel everything I felt. I marked her as mine. And she gave me nothing back. I knew something was up when she was blocking me and spending time with Edward.

I couldn't take it. The tsunami of emotions that overtook me. I slowly got up, fighting the pain the kept me on the floor of the woods for who knows how long and ran back to the house and barricaded myself in my study. I never planned to leave it again.

**AN: Remember it is a JxB story it just might take some time. I think the rest of the chapters are going to be relatively short and a few different POV. I have 2 more written. They just need to be typed up. Sorry for the delay**


	19. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

**AN: Sadly did not get the response I had hoped for. I know it was a bit predictable and I'm sure you are all like "why didn't she just trust him and tell him" well remember Aro said she is not allowed to. There would have been some pretty dire consequences if she had. Wish the formatting would cooperate so Bold stuff are emails. Enjoy- sorry it's short**

Chapter 18

9/14 5:43am

**Jasper,**

**Sorry for the delay. I needed to get away**

**so I went on a mini vacation with a few **

**friends and left all my technology behind.**

**I was just so mad I was about to torch **

**someone.**

**You sounded lonely in your last email.**

**Are you still roaming around the US? If **

**you are,stop in LA. There is this exhibit **

**on some pretentious post-modern crap. **

**Check it out because I had over 100 snarky **

**remarks on just the first 6 pieces.**

**Enjoy,**

**Isabella**

9/14 2:35pm

**Isabella,**

**No worries. I figured you were busy**

**having a life or were away. You did**

**seem pretty mad before you left. I was**

**in Texas with Peter and Char, but I **

**didn't stay long. Being a constant third**

**wheel became depressing fairly quickly.**

**But I am currently in Chicago and I am **

**enjoying myself. I think you would like **

**it here. I had met a few nomads so I am**

**not completely alone, however I do feel **

**like something is missing**

**J**

**PS: I had about 50 just walking in.**

**PPS: I have a gift for you. If only I knew**

**where to sent it**

9/17 10:23am

**Jasper**

**You can always go back. You know they will**

**welcome you with open arms. The are your**

**family.**

**Isabella**

**PS: You will just have to hold onto it until\**

**we see each other.**

9/20 7:14pm

**Is,**

**I don't think i can go back. How can I watch**

**them be together? I wish you would tell me where**

**you were or at least I wish you were here.**

**J**

**PS: I guess I shouldn't ask how last Monday was**

**for you?**

11/4 1:28am

**Jazz,**

**Sorry, Sorry Sorry. I had a trip that did NOT go well**

**and as soon as I got back, I had another argument **

**with the half pint and my computer got busted **

**in the mix. Finally got another one but went away**

**right after it came in.**

**CHRIST! Why can't people understand that there are **

**consequences for their actions... Crap I brok a fw kys**

**on my board.**

**You will b fin. Thy lov you.**

**Isabella**

12/15 6:30pm

**Isabella,**

**Get that "e" fixed. It took me a minute to figure out**

**what you were saying.**

**I did take your advice. I am back with the family. You**

**were right, (don't let that go to your head!) not a lot of **

**reprimanding for being away for so long.**

**I wish you were back with the family too.**

**Jasper.**

The jet was somewhere over the Atlantic. I had decided on sitting in the back section, away from everyone else, where there were 4 overstuffed chairs facing each other in pairs with a coffee table in the middle. I was clicking through old emails between Jasper and myself, wishing I had never done what I did.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye as he took the seat across from me. I did not remove my eyes from the screen, choosing to ignore him continuing through the emails. These were probably all I had lrt o our relationship. I felt so horrible for everything I had done that brought me to this current moment.

_Why did I have to open my big mouth? I could have lied or just not have told him about the updates. I am a monster._

I was kicking myself for becoming this angry vengeful person, I didn't even recognize myself before we left. I curled up into the chair and stared out the window, pulling my black cloak tighter around me as if I was cold and it would bring me comfort. But all it did was remind me of what a monster I had become.

"You are not a monster" Edward answered my thoughts quietly

"I must be worse off than I thought if you are able to hear me" I replied, still not looking at him. I don't think I will ever be able to look him in the eye or any of the Cullen's in the eye ever again. I force my shield back up. "It is nice to finally get a small peek inside your head." He said with a small smile. "Who?"

"Who what?" I ask in a small voice. I could tell he was giving me a look. "Aro"

"And what about what you said on the way to the car?"

I finally look at him, holding back the sobs that threaten to escape. "I'm sorry Edward" he just keeps my gaze waiting for an explanation.

I sigh, "Edward, I don't know who I have become. After you left, I was nothing, but I never hated you. I may have been angry but I was never a vengeful person. But it seemed like the longer I was in Volterra I started to hate you and I wanted you to pay for the pain you put me through. And for what Alice did to Jasper. So I slowly started to ask Jasper for some more detailed updates on you all and I would inform the brothers of what he told me. How Alice had apparently found her true mate, you were still unmated, and your location, and how often you would visit the Denali coven. Aro eventually found his interest back in trying to get you and maybe Alice to join the guard."

He closed his eyes and nodded once. "And the cloak?"

"Is it not clear what it means? I am a princess of the Volturi. They like to keep me close as I can now project my mental shield around them and because I came to them so willingly and so unafraid of them. They trust me. I may not be old but I think they may fear me a bit. Well at least Caius does from what I have overheard. It is not public knowledge to the rest of the vampires. They think i am just part of the guard. But when issues are brought before us, I do sit with the brothers."

"So all of this was because you were mad at me?" He asked incredulously.

"That is part of the reason. But I am hoping that with Aro finally acquiring someone he has coveted for so long will be enough to release me and then maybe I can salvage my relationship with Jasper."

"I thought you were free to come and go when you please?" he smart-mouthed back.

"For no more than 10 years. This could completely sever my ties." My voice drops to a barely audible whisper and glance to Alec and Demetri quickly and bring my focus back to Edward, "I am not bound to this as the rest of them are, which is why I have a special agreement with Aro"

"I don't understand" Edward said furrowing his brow

I pause, I shouldn't tell him, but i feel so guilty. _But Aro will see this. _"I... I can't tell you. I'm sorry" He looks at me for a moment, finally he nods accepting what I said that I really can not tell him without consequences. He gets up to move back to his seat as the pilot had announced we will be landing soon.

"Edward..." He stops. "I really am sorry." He gives me a small smile.

"I know" he taps his temple. I give him a small sad giggle. "And things will work out with you and Jasper. You are mates and he loves you more than anything."

"I doubt it" I reply resigned. Nothing will fix the damage I have done.

**AN: Well hopefully you are hating Bella a lil less now that you know she is hating herself for this.**


	20. Chapter 19

**AN: Sorry I have been slow getting this out. I don't have much more typed up and I am having some writers block, which is frustrating because I think we are near the end of my story. Thanks for being patient. Here is 19. I'm sorry it's short but enjoy and don't forget to review**

* * *

Chapter 19

BPOV

I am a shell of a person

He knows I betrayed him

I want to die...

It has been just over two weeks since we have arrived in Volterra and Jasper has not answered one of my calls nor has be returned one of my voicemails or texts.

The first couple of times I called when we first landed and when we actually got in, the phone rang once or twice and then went to voicemail. But since all my calls have gone straight to voicemail.

My eyes are black pits and the purple bruise like circles under my eyes are dark and deep. I haven't hunted since we picked Alec up from the airport nearly 3 weeks ago.

I want to die.

"Bella dear" my eyes snap to Aro. "You must eat"

"No" I said with finality. I watched the others feed except for Edward. He had gone out earlier to hunt. Thankfully Aro had listen to my pleas and allowed him to keep his diet. I know he is settling in well since that was agreed upon a few days after our arrival. It also seemed to help that he seems quite taken with Chelsea, and her with him.

"Bella love" Edward approached cautiously. "Please feed. He would not want to see you like this." He refers to Jasper.

"It doesn't matter" I replied flatly.

"It does..." He began to plead

"Enough!" I snapped. "I think I will take my leave now. Excuse me" I slowly got up and made my way to my room.

EPOV

I moved back to my place along the wall between Demetri and Alec.

"I know you said she looked like a ghost of a person when I had left her and you have shown me what she looked like when she first came here for help. But was she anywhere near this?" I ask Demetri

"No she was in pain and seemed to be healing but this is too painful to watch." He replied morosely.

"There must be something I can do. Speak to Aro maybe?" I think out loud

"He isn't going to let her go. She was unable to obtain everything he wanted Nd need is too valuable to him to let her go. She knows that" Alec sneered.

"What or who was she suppose to obtain?" I regard him not really wanting to speak with him

"The fortune teller. And he had hoped Jasper would have just followed her here and volunteered to join." Demetri explained

I waited for everyone to leave except for the brothers.

"Is there something troubling you young Edward?" Aro asked. "You seemed like you have been settling in quite nicely."

"Yes I have. Thank you. You have been quite accommodating. But I need to speak with you about Isabella. I am worried about her."

"Yes, as are we. She means a lot to us... Well a lot to me." Aro corrects himself when Marcus huffs a bit

"I know. And I know you do t intend on letting her go... Before you get the wrong idea sir, no I did not listen to your thoughts, I can just tell. Aro would you agree to letting her go to be with her mate if I agree to changing my diet and I would volunteer to do her job of gathering information and bringing you those gifted vampires you wish to join?"

"Hmmmm. You care very deeply for her to do this so willingly." Aro mused

"She is family sir. Has been since I first laid eyes on her. I care very much for her."

"I will consider it. We shall discuss it amongst ourselves and let you know our decision in 3 days. Now go and enjoy your night."

"Thank you sir." I slightly bowed before making my way out.

**An: We will finally see Jasper next chapter.**


	21. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to Arabella Whitlock, thank you for your review and since I felt that a teaser wouldn't be enough I am posting another chaper! Enjoy the bonus chapter and of course don't forget to review :)**

* * *

Chapter 20

APOV

No one has heard from Isabella or Edward in weeks and Jasper has barricaded himself in his study without so much as a word to any of us. I haven't seen anything about them in weeks and I haven't been this worried since Isabella had first disappeared all those ears ago.

The family had gone to hunt, more so as a distraction from the emptiness we all feel. I stayed behind determined to get Jasper out of his room.

Even though the door is locked and barricaded it really was no problem for me to slip through.

"Jasper?" I ask tentatively, slowly approaching him

"Go away, Ali" He croaked from his chair.

"Jasper please. I am worried about you. We all are. You need to feed. Please!"

"What's the point?"

"Jasper please!" I plead. "I... I'm sorry for lying all those years ago when we first met. I should have told you the truth, but we were both hurting and needed each other. There was no way for me in our situation then to explain it. We needed the happiness and the family to heal us first. I was going to tell you the truth after Bella's birthday. I had a vision that day of the two of you together and happy and me with my mate.

"But then... everything happened and the way everyone reacted and then I couldn't see her anymore. With my visions being subjective I couldn't trust myself telling you that she is you mate. But I could still see mine and it was going to happen soon." I pause and he is just blankly staring at me I didn't know if he heard a word I said but I kept going.

"Jasper, I have loved you since I first saw you in my vision but I knew you were never going to be mine forever. I hated hurting you with suddenly divorcing you, we should have actually talked about it then. I am so so sorry. please forgive me. Come hunt with me. We always had so much fun hunting together." I had a small smile on my lips with the memories of our hunts.

"Thank you Alice for apologizing. I really appreciate it. But I do not feel like hunting" he said robotically

"Look I know you are bummed that Isabella had to go but she will be back soon. How will she react seeing her mate..." I was cut off by a loud growl and a hand clamping around my neck.

"Do not speak her name as my mate" he sneered. "We are nothing."

"Put me down, please" I whispered as he put more pressure on my neck as he didn't listen.

"She ran off with her mate. I saw them together. She played me as a fool for YEARS. Toying with me!" My neck began to crack from the pressure.

"Jasper... stop... please" He let go finally realizing what he was doing and dropped to his knees and sobbed.

"I loved her Alice, since... I don't know when. Her birthday.. maybe even before that. How could she do this to me? Use me?" He gasped as though he was the one what was being choked.

He kept rambling on and on. I had no clue what he was trying to say. "Jasper what are you talking about?" I ask but he doesn't hear me and continues his lament rambling.

"She used my emotions? Used me? I marked her for fuck sake! And then to hear her say those things to him." He growled at the end.

"Who? What?" I was so confused.

"Edward" he says his name like its poison. "Everything was a lie to get back with Edward. I told her I would go with her and she said no every time." He said through clenched teeth

"No Jasper, you are mated to Isabella I have seen it." I argued

"You said it yourself, your visions are subjected" rubbing my word back at me

"Not when it comes to this!" I flipped

"You didn't see them. Or hear them..." He said in disbelief

"What happened?" I asked. He went on to explain Isabella's distance and constant blocking. How he followed Edward into the woods to a small meadow.

"She said "...I... I can't live without you." "What about Jasper?" Edward asked. And she admitted she had been blocking me to see how she felt without myinfluence, and said she felt nothing for me. I missed some things. But I got the important part "I do still love you."" he paused as the pain etched deeper in his face.

"I missed something but next thing I heard Edward was agreeing to go with her to Italy. And then... They kissed and it was no way innocent"

_Vision_

_"I'm not going back to Amherst Heidi. He knows what I did." Bella rasped her back to Heidi_

_"You don't know that."_

_"Then why isn't he answering me?" Her voice thick_

_"Maybe he went on vacation? Maybe to the Denali coven."_

_"I doubt it. He had to have found out." Bella finally turned over her gaunt face finally visible._

_"Please go hunt. I will come with. We can cause a little naughty trouble." Heidi pleaded wagging her eyebrows_

_"No, just leave me be" Bella's eyes closed_

_"But Isabella..."_

_"I said no and that's final" she roared as best she could in her raspy voice._

_"Bella, you did what Aro commanded and brought Edward. You can't do this to yourself, go to Jasper and explain this all to him" Bella said nothing. "You will starve!"_

_"Then maybe I can die." Bella turned back over_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~change in vision~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Aro did you come to a decision on what we discussed?" Edward was standing in front of the brothers and Bella_

_"Ah Edward. Yes I have. And I think that is quite satisfactory but I do have one thing I would like to add. Bella dear."_

_"Yes Aro?" She only slightly turned her attention to him._

_"Edward has volunteered to change his diet and relieve you of your duties in exchange for you to be free of our agreement. My only addition is that you still visit for about a month or so every... Oh let's say 50 years and you will help us if any situation ever arises."_

_"No."_

_"But Bella love, what about Jasper?" Edward pushed._

_"Enough. I do not agree with this. Now leave us." Isabella dismissed him._

_End visions_

"Alice!" Jasper was shaking me.

"Jasper!" I squealed in excitement. "You need to go to Volterra NOW! She is starving herself in hopes to die because of this. Because she thinks she has lost you."

"She's with Edward now Alice."

"No she's not! She was ordered by Aro to bring him to Volterra. She doesn't love him!"

"Yeah, sure." Jasper dismissed me

"Uhg you are so infuriating! She is dying without you Jasper and if she goes you won't be far behind." Alice cried.

Jasper shook his head trying to make sense of everything I have said against what he saw and heard weeks ago.

"JASPER THEODORE WHITLOCK! YOU GET YOUR ASS UP AND GO GET YOUR GODDAMN MATE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! YOU WERE THE YOUNGEST MAJOR OF THE CONFEDERATE ARMY. YOU ARE THE GOD OF WAR! NOT SOME PANSY ASS EMO SISSY. GO GET WHAT IS YOURS!" I shrieked

He snapped up, "You better be fucking right about this!"

"I am." I said confidently. "Our tickets are booked" he raised his eyebrow. "Oh you didn't think you I'd let you go alone now did you? We better hurry. Our flight leaves in 2 hours."

We grabbed a few necessities, left a note for the family and we were off.

* * *

**AN: I couldn't find anything on a middle name for Jasper. Most put his name as Jasper Whitlock Hale, but since he is back to Whitlock I couldn't use that. Mistakes are mine. Don't have a beta and this chapter was reviewed and partially written on the iPad. Need to type up some more but still struggling with a future chapter.**


	22. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I just play around with it

**AN: I am so sorry this is so late. I have hit some big writers block and then I ended up going away unexpectedly last weekend when I had planned on typing what I had. It's not exactly was I was thinking but it's what came out. If you are interested in helping at all, PM me, I'd love some input. As always enjoy and review**

* * *

Chapter 21

_Previously..._

"_Uhg you are so infuriating! She is dying without you Jasper and if she goes you won't be far behind." Alice cried._

_Jasper shook his head trying to make sense of everything I have said against what he saw and heard weeks ago._

"_JASPER THEODORE WHITLOCK! YOU GET YOUR ASS UP AND GO GET YOUR GODDAMN MATE RIGHT FUCKING NOW! YOU WERE THE YOUNGEST MAJOR OF THE CONFEDERATE ARMY. YOU ARE THE GOD OF WAR! NOT SOME PANSY ASS EMO SISSY. GO GET WHAT IS YOURS!" I shrieked_

_He snapped up, "You better be fucking right about this!"_

"_I am." I said confidently. "Our tickets are booked" he raised his eyebrow. "Oh you didn't think you I'd let you go alone now did you? We better hurry. Our flight leaves in 2 hours."_

_We grabbed a few necessities, left a note for the family and we were off._

APOV

Even though I was in a vision when Jasper told me what was said between Isabella and Edward, I had heard every word and it was hard to digest.

"Jasper?" I asked timidly

"Yes Alice?" His eyes were closed, head resting back on the headrest. As we got closer to Italy I could see the subtle easing of tension. I knew it was because we were getting closer to his Isabella.

"What will you do when we get there?" I was curious, I hadn't seen anything since that vision.

He sighed, "I don't know. I was so angry when were were at the house. All I wanted to do was yell. But now..." he sighed again, "But now.. I don't know. I am still hurt and betrayed and I want to believe what you saw in your vision but seeing what I did in person was the most horrible feeling I have ever had. I don't think I even felt this bad by the end of my time with Maria."

He was silent for a few minutes before continuing. "I guess I just want answers from her. If what I saw is true then..." he hesitated.

"Jasper what are you going to do?" I was worried he wasn't sounding right.

"Alice, please do not make a big deal out of this." Jasper said opening his eyes looking at me finally.

"What? What are you planning Jasper?" I was freaking out now.

"Ally..." He cut himself off again making a sad face.

I realized what he was saying. "NO! NO I won't let you. Are you crazy?" I screeched lowly trying not to freak the humans out. "Why?" I wanted to cry.

"Alice. I can't explain it. You won't understand." he said sorrowfully

"Try me!" I demanded

"If what I saw is true then I will ask the brothers to end my life. I am tired of being alone. I thought I had found my mate... twice..." I looked down ashamed of what I did to him. "Being an empath surrounded by those who are mated and not being with someone after experiencing something similar. I don't think I can live like that."

"But Jasper you and Isabella are suppose to be together. I told you, you are mates. You marked her. You are in pain and from what I saw she is too. This wouldn't be happening if you weren't."

"And this is only if what I saw in the woods to be true." he reminded me

"You know Aro would never agree to killing you." I said quietly. I think Aro would die of happiness to have someone with Jasper's powers in the guard.

"Yes well if my past actions with Maria are not enough, I guess would just have to force his hand then"

"Don't make any decisions until we talk to her, please. I don't want to lose you Jasper. I still love you. You are family!" I said tearily. I placed my hand on his, "I know you are having a hard time with this. I'm having a hard time understanding what you saw but it will all work out" I gave him a reassuring smile.

"What did you see Alice?" He asked suspiciously after he laid his head back and closed his eyes again.

"No vision. Just faith"

BPOV

I could hear the pleading tone from the vampire in front of us but I couldn't hear the words they were saying. I was tired of this. we have heard this mans pleas for 2 days now.

"Death" I interrupted dully

"Isabella, don't you think that is a bit harsh? It seems their situation is very similar to how yours and Edwards was long ago." Aro asked warily

"It can't be. We were never mates. How would you have reacted if Edward and I were brought to you because you found out a human had been told about vampires? I'm sure you would not have been this compassionate. Besides his mate is human after all, how can we be sure they are mates? Humans are so... underdeveloped." I responded disinterestedly

"Bring in the human." Aro instructed

"Marcus?" Aro asked once the human was brought before us.

Marcus replied almost as dully as I had "I'm sorry Isabella, but I can see their bond. They are mates."

I huffed, "Fine. Change him. Now." I commanded

"But we need to make preparations..."

I cut them off "Do it or you both die"

"Yes princess." He stuttered with a shaky bow.

Aro shook his head, probably disappointed in my behavior before speaking. "Heidi, please escort them to a room. Issac, we will help Ezra with becoming accustom to his new life. The two of you are more than welcome to stay for as long as you need. Newborns can be tricky at first." Aro warmly addressed them

"Thank you Aro. I believe we will stay until Ezra is comfortable leaving and being around humans without issue" Isaac replied relieved. And with that he took his mate's hand and followed Heidi.

"Isabella." Aro was stern "I find myself unhappy with your attitude as of late. you know we must be fair. Give them a chance to explain." He continued to scold me.

"He broke the law and was caught. He told a human about us and did nothing, putting us at risk." I retorted flatly.

"Yes but they had plans and Ezra was to be changed within the next 2 months." I stayed quiet. Starvation had made me quite cynical, yet I couldn't seem to care.

"Sirs, m'lady." Margaret, our newest receptionist, addressed us meekly. "There is a Alice Cullen and Jasper Whitlock here requesting to speak with you."

"Really?" Aro perked up

"It seems we do not have to chase them down now." Caius mused

"Please. Please bring them in" Aro instructed giddily as he gave me a sideways glance to judge my reaction.

* * *

**AN: I know I'm sorry to leave it here but gotta keep you all hooked and I can't give everything up right away. 1 more chapter until my block. So again if you are interested in helping or have any input/ideas/something you'd like to see happen let me know!**


	23. Authors note- so sorry

Hi all, This is darkangels sister Ami posting a note for her. DA wanted to let you all know it will be a bit before she posts again. I (Ami) will try to post her last written chapter soon. DA is not in a good place right now mentally to write. She has some issues that we had thought were through one is that English is her second language and it can sometimes cause a domino effect with her other issues. DA doesn't want me to say specifically what she was diagnosed with before my family adopted her but one thing that sets her off is negativity even if its helpful/constructive. She is very sorry to some of her biggest supporters and is determined to finish this story especially for them. Writing makes her happy so please send some happy vibes her way and it may help her get well soon. This authors note will be replaced with the next chapter.

-Ami

Thanks all love ya-DA


End file.
